Thread by @thedulab

How to know what you're meant to do in life:

Every day, you’re bombarded with abundance on Twitter. Someone just made a sale on their dropshipping store. Another person just closed a client for their email marketing agency. Short-form content is the way. AI is the future.

So many possibilities. So much opportunity. The world is at your fingertips, but you just can’t seem to grab it. Switched business model after switched business model. New pros and new cons. The grass just keeps getting greener and greener.

You quickly become aware of your inability to focus, so you start to research strategies to fix it. You’re never able to just commit to an action and stay the course. You need to find a way to stop being lazy, you tell yourself.

“How to be more productive,” you search. Organize your calendar like this. Meditate like that. Throw in a daily cold shower. The tactics work for a few weeks, but the dopamine rush inevitably wears off.

You tweak your grind schedule. Buy an ergonomic chair. You get a burst of energy again, but the dopamine rush wears off once more. You find yourself in a constant cycle of optimizing, hitting a lull, optimizing again, then hitting another lull.

It looks like you’re making progress. But despite the changes you’ve made, the needle doesn’t move. Sending a cold email is still an uphill battle. You started waking up earlier, but your mind still drifts away from the task at hand.

You’re so close to believing that you’re just not good enough. That you’re just not meant to make it. But then, you find this thread. And this thread gives you an entirely different perspective on your problem, a realization you’ve never come to before.

You realize that your stagnancy actually has nothing to do with any sort of character flaw. It has nothing to do with what you’re doing, either. It’s what you’re not doing. And what you’re not doing is being yourself.

More specifically, you learn that your issue primarily lies in a foundational lack of awareness into your natural strengths, talents, advantages, and points of leverage. You simply have no idea who you are.

I can relate. Back when I was in my early 20’s, I had no idea who I was, either. And not knowing who I was led me to jump on the decision to start my career in finance upon graduating college.

The decision to take this job really came down to one point of analysis. “Will this make me successful?” In this case, it was traditionally prestigious. Paid well. Competitive amongst my peers. No brainer, it seemed.

But in hindsight, it’s clear that I should’ve looked at it through a different lens. “Am I naturally well-positioned to succeed in this?” It’s such a small nuance, but so incredibly important. Without the nuance, I was asking questions like…

Does this pay more, or does that pay more? How are the hours here instead of there? Do most people want this job, or is it seen as a safety option? Is this hard, or easy to get into?

I was comparing path vs. path, when I should’ve been comparing path vs. me. Because of the former, I ended up structuring my life around what made sense on paper, but didn’t allow me to fully lean into my inborn gifts.

I wasn’t bad, but I also wasn’t good. I could model, but so could any analyst. I could clean up a slide deck, but everyone could as well. It was tough to stand out, which directly made me feel like I was just running through the motions.

When you don’t really feel like you’re valuable, your mind starts to fantasize. What else is out there? The more you fantasize, the less focused you are on your current initiatives. Lower focus, lower productivity.

This was me every day. Thinking about possibly switching over to consulting. Pondering business school. Wondering if I should try my hand at creating a startup. All of these comparisons just made me more and more confused.

It wasn’t until I accidentally discovered something about myself that the lightbulb moment serendipitously clicked. And this moment came as a result of unintentionally noticing patterns in how people uniquely responded to me in specific social settings.

The job involved a lot of number crunching, but also networking. Often, I’d have to tag along with a higher-up to some client site or happy hour. At first, I dreaded these, but I soon realized that my experiences were wildly different from those of my coworkers.

Whenever I was in a one-on-one situation with someone new, almost everyone would somehow always get incredibly vulnerable with me. I didn’t even need to provoke, but they’d always voluntarily tell me secrets I had no business knowing and treat me like they’d known me for years.

One car ride with a VP, and I’d come back to the office knowing about his family problems. One lunch with another, and the entire hour would turn into a therapy session in disguise. I’d curiously ask other analysts about their meetings, but this wasn’t ever happening with them.

Funnily enough, this eventually turned into a game. As a joke, I’d go up to my coworkers and just be like, “So what do we want to know today, guys?” How much he makes. Whether she hates her job or not. Who’s quitting soon. I’d always come back with the answer.

The more I realized how fluid this was for me, the more confident I felt. I thought I might’ve had a gift because I didn’t even have to try. My demeanor, my tonality, whatever it was, it was so undeniably me. Nobody else could copy it. I didn’t even know how to explain it.

After becoming hyper aware of this, I decided to take a risk and leave my job with the intention to confirm whether I actually had a gift that meant something or whether I was just deluding myself.

The new job involved sourcing investment opportunities, which meant that I had to talk to founders all day and get them to choose our firm over other competitors. I knew that if I could quickly garner their trust, it’d directly validate my alleged gift.

I ended up bringing in my first deal within 3 weeks of getting hired, setting the company record for fastest close by any new hire. My production for the next quarter also surpassed that of my coworkers who had been at the firm for 1-2 years prior.

Did I have to “work hard” for these results? Yes, and no. The “work” wasn’t necessarily learning how to garner trust, but rather improving upon my existing ability to garner trust. I had to put in a level of effort, but it was more about “refining” as opposed to “trying.”

Since then, I’ve left the workforce and have been doing my own thing for the past 3 years. Every venture I’ve undertaken, and still do, directly involves actualizing this gift. If a role doesn’t allow me to leverage it, I screen the next opportunity.

Now, decision making is simple. I know that as long as I fully lean into my advantage, the easier it is to win. The easier it is to win, the more confident I am. The more confident I am, the more fun I have. The more fun I have, the more of it I do. This is what passion means.

If you’re tall, you’re already more respected. If you’re handsome, you can easily gain followers through video content. If you just get numbers, you can trade with way less mental friction. If you’re in a fraternity at a rich school, forget applying for jobs. Just shoot a text.

You were given these talents for a reason. Everyone has something. You just have to be courageous and astute enough to experiment until you find it. If it wouldn’t make sense for LeBron to be a software engineer, where might it not make sense for you to do whatever you’re doing?

If you can figure this out, the productivity issue disappears immediately. You don’t get distracted by shiny objects because you just know what your sauce is. And if a new opportunity intrigues you, you’ll know how to determine if it’s worth pursuing in relation to said sauce.

Had I not figured it out, I probably would’ve tried to force whatever business model was being pushed on Twitter. I would’ve had to compete with people who were naturally wired to crush that type of work, putting in double the effort to see half their results.

I would’ve likely procrastinated due to feeling like I didn’t have an edge. Not because I’m unproductive by nature, but because I would’ve chosen something based on who I thought I should be, instead of who I already was.

By embracing who I am, I’m able to make money through ways I feel are easy, but many feel are hard. I’m able to bring in business through my voice and personality. Resolve conflict. Mirror people to establish familiarity. I’ll let others do their thing, and I’ll do mine.

Frustrations are no longer crippling, but fun challenges to solve because now you know this is your groove. Fantasies are no longer who you could be, but who you could continue being. Success will be achieved your way, and you’ll make way more without a playbook.

Struggling is overrated. Make life easier on yourself. Block out the noise. Do what you’re meant to do. What you’re meant to do will turn into what you like. Nobody can be a better you than you, so grab the world in the way only you can, and simply enjoy the ride.

If you're struggling to figure out how to leverage your natural gifts, I'd like to share a few resources that you may find relevant. I've helped a ton of friends identify the right path for them, and maybe I can do the same for you. If any interest, continue reading below.

This is a comprehensive, one-on-one mentorship I've been offering on the side. I'd take the time to get to know you on a deeper level and provide you with weekly action items. The goal is to remain friends and perpetually discuss insights as you progress.

https://twitter.com/thedulab/status/1630263223122313216?s=20

This is a private community I run with one of my good friends @paik_michael. The content is centered around the same principles, but in group discussion form. If you want to meet likeminded people working on cool things, this could be an option for you.

launchpass.com/the-sauna/gath…

If you're interested in or have any questions on either of the above, DM me. If not, I'm happy to point you to some free resources that may nudge you in the right direction. If I don't reply, it's because my messages are flooded. I'll try my best to help as many of you as I can.