Jon Wensley Profile picture
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” - Oscar Wilde———————————————————————— I am a professional proofreader and copyeditor. @SomertonsLtd

25 Nov, 25 tweets

Gumpy old man thread of the day...

o2, now otherwise known as "just another bit of "Virgin Media", seems to have already taken up the customer service quality of the parent company, which is not a good thing.

So the story goes...

Having upgraded my phone to a later iPhone version, which was a relatively (note the word relatively) painless experience, I wished to give my older, but not old, phone to another resident of my abode, who was struggling (not) with their ancient and decrepit iPhone (not).

"Simples", I hear you cry.

No, because they have different size SIM cards which, for some reason (beyond understanding) are now called ICCIDs, which stands for Integrated Circuit Card Identifier. Obviously, the person at o2 never explained that, leaving it to Google.

All you need to do is talk to o2, I thought. Silly me.

On-line I go, we log into myo2, and through a convoluted and very unintuitive process get through the "chat" area. I have spent too long waiting for Virgin Media to answer their own phone to try that way.

I presume it is on their own system, which is on silent, and no one bothers to pick it up.
Onto the chat system, which doesn't have the drop-down option of "send me a new sim", but rather offers you (after all the upselling upgrade offers) a chance to chat to a "Guru". Yippee.

After waiting in a lobby for almost as long as I would on their phone system (it would be faster if I wished to spend more money). "I need a different size SIM for a different phone", I type. No, I don't want to buy a new phone. No, I don't want to take out a new contract. Sigh.

I explain in words of one syllable (just saying iPhone makes them think you want to buy a new one) that all I want is for them to send a nanosim instead of a microsim (or something). "Do you mean an ICCID?", they ask, and I look up on Google what that means.
"I think so". Sigh.

After giving my inside leg measurement and a number of details I had already provided when logging in, they tell me I should have the new sim in between 1 and 5 days. This seems a fairly wide range of dates, but I presume they don't use Saturdays or Sundays in Virgin Media Land.

So, over an hour after I started, "All done" I cry.

So, you would think.

But no, we are in pantomime season.

o2 decide (automatically, I am later informed) that if you order a new SIM card, you obviously don't want the old one to work, even though the new one hasn't turned up yet, and might be with you for 2022.

So they switch off the old SIM card. meaning the old phone doesn't work.

You obviously don't notice this right away, until someone actually has the audacity to want to talk to you, and the call doesn't come through.

We try to phone the customer services, but the wait time takes us past next Easter, so it is back onto the "joys of chat".

After some time going through the SIM vs ICCID conversation again, I find out the way (thank you Google) of looking it up on the phone without taking the SIM card out. They didn't tell me that on the chat. By then, the chat had stopped working and I had to go in again.

Explaining it all again, I try to use the correct initialism (ICCID), and the person/robot didn't understand it at all. I want to cry. Going through all the same information again. I think my typing gives away the fact I am a grumpy far older man than when I started this journey.

"You should have asked us not to turn off the old SIM", I am told.
"I didn't know I needed to", I respond.
"Well, you should have done."

This is not making me feel better.

Maybe this is just the way of pushing you into upgrading to a new phone.

The latest person I have been "chatting" to has just typed this. Obviously, they haven't been trained in the Virgin Media way yet. It is almost empathetic.

Apart from having to go through all the information again, including the details you have to type in to log into the chat in the first place, this time we might actually be getting somewhere.

Here is another upselling message...

Just when I thought things were looking up!

Tick tock, tick tock...

Now they tell me I already have had the SIM swapped. and it should be working. It hasn't even arrived yet. The phone can't make or receive calls.

I am no longer in a state of grace.

Surely it doesn't have to be this difficult.

Oh yes, it does.

After 20 minutes, it looks like, once again, I am getting somewhere.

Oh no, it doesn't.

After 21 minutes, it looks like I am not.

I am not sure how much more I can take.

I am fairly convinced the new SIM will have arrived by the time the o2 gurus have worked out what to do.

Two things will probably happen:

1) The SIM will be the wrong one, and will not fit.
2) They will have switched off the old one, and I will go through it all over again

Going through all this has given me the time to look up the best mobile network for Customer Service.

I am not sure that is what o2 want me to do that...

o2 and Vodafone are not that impressive it seems.

For goodness sake, I think they have just ordered me yet another SIM card.

Deep breaths,

I give in.

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