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Sep 26, 2020 12 tweets 5 min read Read on X
Time for a pulp countdown now, and today it's my top 10 British tabs!

Smoke 'em if you got 'em... #SaturdayThoughts
At #10: John Player Superkings! A night at the bingo wasn't complete without eight cards, a bottle of Double Maxim and a JPS Super on the go. Quiet now, they're doing the link-up...
At #9: House of Commons Straight Cut! These unfiltered beauties - now sadly discontinued - simply reek of Hansard, balance of payments deficits and the three day week. Surely the mother of all parliamentary smokes...
At #8: Lambert and Butler! These fancy fags in their brushed aluminium packet were always popular with teachers and people who drove Volvos. They probably watched BBC2 as well...
At #7: Capstan Full Strength! The fat cousin of the Wills Wild Woodbine, the Capstan stood for a time when cigarettes were meant to make you cough. My aunties loved 'em...
At #6: the John Player Special! The oily rag of Formula 1: yes it made your lungs bleed, but just look how pretty that car is! Broom vroom...
At #5: Consulate Menthol! Why goths loved this over-minty baccy is beyond me, but no night at the Batcave in Dean Street was complete without it...
At #4: John Player No.6! They were good enough for the Queen Mum, so they're good enough for me...
At #3: Sobraine Cocktail Cigarettes! The coolest smoke for the most sophisticated ladies...
At #2: Sullivan Powell No.1! Far superior to their Turkish Ovals this was a true taste of the Orient, made in the heart of Piccadilly...
And at #1: it's a tie! Embassy Filter is the true taste of snooker, but Regal King Size is basically the coat of arms of Northern England. Don't make me choose!!
More pulp countdowns another day. Let's leave the last word on the noble tab to Viz comic...

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Oh those meddling kids...
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I'm sorry, I'll read that again...

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