The tragedy of a middle aged woman trying to be a late in life “athlete-like” person is I don’t know if I pulled my neck muscle while I was cycling or while I was sleeping.
I am legit walking into a doctor’s office tomorrow like, “could be an injury, could be my life”.
The problem, it would seem, is that I have a neck at all…
It reminds me of the time I had a guy come fix my garbage disposal. He asks me “what you put in there?!” I said just basic dishwater stuff. He was horrified. “Well there’s your problem. You used it.” He was deadass serious.

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More from @tressiemcphd

16 Sep
Passive aggression is the glue that binds white people to whiteness
Passive aggression is how you learn to enact the domination of structural whiteness in your everyday life. It becomes the religion, the market, the rituals - everything.
I should be writing lol
Read 4 tweets
16 Sep
At least once a week. I think about it at least once a week.
In the most obscure aside, one of you recommended this book to me ages ago. You’ll see the ideas again in a future something. But in my personal reflections, there is an intersection of consuming the racial other & the power of eating the cute hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?is…
My working theory is: The aggression that “cute” evokes (guilty here; I eat babies but that’s irrelevant) merges with the desire to consume blackness in a way that makes white people —women especially because white women gatekeep cute —raging cannibals when they engage with me.
Read 4 tweets
14 Sep
I started a little indie show called The Crown. You probably haven’t heard of it. These people are horrible.
I will say that one good thing about being royal is somebody packs your luggage for you. So there’s that.
This is too many rules and everybody is so racist.
Read 21 tweets
11 Sep
I spent the morning explaining the Applebee’s song to Vivian.

“Is this what they call influencing?! Am I influenced??
“I’m confused. Did he make the song FOR Applebee’s or does he really take his girlfriend to Applebee’s.”
“I like the dance. I’m going to learn it. I can’t look any crazier than he does!”
Read 5 tweets
9 Sep
Put down what you’re playing with and look at me. Look directly at me with both your eyes and your ears. Still yourself. Hear me good:

Anyone who promises that the thing they are asking you to do for free or cheap will be “easy” and “low lift” is absolutely lying to you.
They are nice people…and they’re lying.

They like you, love you, respect you…and they’re lying.

They do not mean you any harm..and they’re lying.
Every ask is a significant commitment and you need to know that and believe it and act like it. Do it for love or to get into heaven. But just know that it will not be easy, fast, low lift, quick or anything similar.
Read 4 tweets
7 Sep
I do not talk about it because I don't need that hassle and I'm not really talking about it now. I'm *complaining*, which is different. But somewhere along the way I started and grew a whole ass business and holy crap is it overwhelming.
The only acceptable responses to this complaining is to 1) talk private ish about me in your group chat 2) tell me how sorry you are for me 3) offer me things to feel better that is NOT bread.
You add to this the notable increase in administration that my professor job entails and it is all my least favorite things at one time.
Read 4 tweets

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