So tomorrow I close out what has been, hands down, the biggest growing experience in my 27 years on this Earth—my divorce. Although I didn’t want it, the lessons I’ve learned are invaluable, and I am grateful for that.
Here is a thread of some of those lessons.
1. it’s not your partner’s job to make you happy or validate you. Nor is it your job for them. Validation and happiness comes from within, and if you don’t have it outside of the relationship, you won’t have it in the relationship. Love yourself first.
2. Projection is insidious, and rarely personal. Everyone has pain they’re carrying from their past. Their seeming overreaction to things you don’t think are a big deal are likely triggers for old wounds they have from their childhood or past relationships. Don’t take it