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Rabbinic Alt Account. Torah with its shirt untucked. Also! The shirt is blue.
Joshua Cypess Profile picture 1 added to My Authors
10 Jun
You wanna have fun on the twitters? tweet this:
"Just because someone was instrumental in winning World War II doesn't mean that they they didn't engineer a famine that killed millions of people and it doesn't mean that they weren't an alcoholic egotist with antisemitic views."
And then watch as tankies get in your mentions to defend Stalin and conservatives get in your mentions to defend Churchill
For bonus points respond as if they're defending the other guy.
"it wasn't Stalin's fault it didn't rain"
"I'm pretty sure the Bengal famine happened, dude"
Read 4 tweets
10 Jun
So Yashar is like your flakey gossipy friend who always seems to be either hanging out with my BFF or condemning a former BFF, except he's like historically good at it, and now he's flown too close to the sun lamag.com/mag-features/y…
I don't think he's a con man. That implies intent. I think he just is really good at making friends. And that he got addicted to feeling powerful.
Anyone who has become semi social media popular I think recognizes the cycle. You share something of yourself. People feel close to you. You amass followers. They give you compliments and self assurance. You start to see yourself as righteous.
Read 6 tweets
10 Jun
If you don't like that Chabad has unrivaled infrastructure for Jewish observance, often in areas no one else will go to, then build better infrastructure. It's not their fault they're good at what they do.
"oh no how come Chabad has a monopoly on Judaism in small communities"
Because you didn't give two shits about those communities, and Chabad did. Don't like it? Start giving a shit and compete with them.
Maybe pour resources into that instead of the New York Society For the Preservation of Gefilte Fish or whatever the fuck
Read 6 tweets
12 May
Fun story, I have literally been told by an IDF general that the blockade on Gaza is militarily unnecessary. "Let Ahmed go fishing, it doesn't threaten Israeli security"
If you're shocked, man, you should have seen the look on R. Shmuley Boteach's face
R. Boteach then tried to overrule the general by a show of hands vote of college kids who showed up for free pizza. Bizarre experience.
Read 6 tweets
11 May
In my life the guy I've met most Gung ho about Israel invading Gaza was a Palestinian dude from Gaza who picked me and my wife up from the airport once. This isn't a sound basis for policy but it is kind of hilarious.
"are you guys Jewish?"
"Yeah"
"Oh hey that's so cool I'm from Gaza"
"uh, I am very sorr-"
"No don't worry it's cool! Why hasn't Israel invaded us yet? Seriously, why not?"
His parents and brothers had gotten imprisoned by Hamas a bunch for criticism of the regime and he managed to escape to America, where, on his first night in his new home, his roommate got shot.
Read 9 tweets
11 May
Is anyone being convinced by rocket attacks to abandon Israel and the Jewish state? Has terror weakened Israeli resolve or strengthened it? Obviously, no and the latter.
Here's the thing:
Then why do you think it'll work on Palestinians?
The dirty secret of modern warfare is that strategic bombing doesn't actually work! In fact, studies have shown that enemy moral goes *up* in the wake of aerial campaigns against them
Take the British during World War II. There was was widespread fear among government officials that the Battle of Britain would lead to mass panic and destruction of morale.
Read 8 tweets
11 May
"why don't you renounce Zionism"
idk, maybe because my entire immediate family would be pretty pissed off if I applauded rockets being fired at them? And also because I don't think the desire for a homeland necessarily means we have to do stupid things?
And if your argument is "actually, you do believe in that if you say you're a Zionist", I'm not exactly positively inclined towards strangers telling me what I do and don't believe
"But Israel has done this and this and this"
Yeah. I'm aware. I ain't gonna deny Israel has done some bad stuff, but I wasn't exactly consulted about it. I would have preferred they not do those things. I was not consulted.
Read 12 tweets
11 May
There's a recorded lecture of Rav Soloveitchik in 1959 where he says that the state of Israel is a challenge that will define Jewish History
That if, upon given power, we are corrupted by it and do not act in a moral manner in line with the ideals of our texts and tradition, it will falsify the whole project of Judaism
The whole of Jewish History will be defined by the next fifty years, he says.
Read 8 tweets
10 May
I'm so so so tired of believing in things that do things I can't defend. Physically exhausted and feel helpless.
I'm horrified by what's happening in Sheikh Jarrah. But no one gives a shit what I say. I still believe in a Jewish State, but this shit is not what I signed up for. And saying, "actually, you did", is not fucking helping.
Sure hope everyone who decided attracting international condemnation for some fucking houses is happy now
Read 7 tweets
28 Apr
I get that people feel betrayed Missionary Rabbi Guy and that that is serious. However, the idea that some schmuck was so bothered by the fact that there are people out there who have different religious beliefs than him that he put in years and years of his life 1/n
Living a complete lie and doing insane levels of research, committing themselves to an extremely restrictive lifestyle, all for a plan that amounts to "and then, when they accept me, I break out the Jesus stuff" and is *immediately* shut down the moment his kids mention Jesus?
That is never not going to be hilarious to me. He did all that work! All for an objectively stupid plan!
Read 12 tweets
27 Apr
How did the missionary guy get discovered wrong answers only
"that's what's so beautiful about yiddishkeit everyone gets along"
"You know what goes great on these latkes? Ketchup."
Read 4 tweets
14 Apr
High school. Was waiting with the date at a bus stop to catch a bus to see a movie. She goes "I think that car was my grandfather's". Car stops. It is. He asks her what she's doing and who is this. Waiting for a bus and no one. He offers her a ride. She accepts.
I get to the movie theater. She's not answering her phone. Movie has started. Look for her in each row. Not there. Do not enjoy Sweeney Todd as much as I could have. She calls me later. Her grandfather got lost.
I to this day suspect deliberate sabotage.
Obviously I never go out with her again, right?
Wrong. Off and on again until she tells me in sem she won't talk to boys anymore. Because I was pathetic.
My wife rescued me from myself.
Read 5 tweets
4 Mar
What's infuriating about ami magazine going after Avital Chizhik-Goldschmidt is not that ami magazine is gross. We knew that.
It's that, after constantly telling people "no you can't criticize the community when you're not part of it" (not just ami, but a lot of Haredi voices and apologists) and "you need to go through the proper channels"....
That's how they react to someone who has always been a part of the community, defended the community when appropriate, and has largely colored inside the lines, so to speak, starts raising some critiques.
Read 6 tweets