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Conan, Esq Profile picture
Conan, Esq
@conan_esq
Chief Counsel, Grupo Bimbo. Ladies, we’re hiring!
Hereford Brimley Profile picture TurkeyClubSandwich Profile picture Potato Of Reason Profile picture 👑🏴Stateless📛Sovereign😭💢 Profile picture Etienne Wszechświataski Profile picture 7 subscribed
Dec 22, 2023 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
My last look at the party before I say a few affectionate goodbyes and drive home responsibly (I’m grateful for my friends and family around the holidays) Image POV: your last look at the party that you can remember Image
Nov 17, 2023 • 10 tweets • 3 min read
This is a great story that gets at something I think about often. I think the whole 'sommelier' and 'tasting notes' thing is fake or real depending on what you thought it was. As this and other stories prove, you can trick people. Even people with good palates. Taste and smell are such ephemeral senses - social engineering can be very powerful here. But that doesn't mean that a Bordeaux isn't a good wine, or that wine is indistinguishable.
Nov 16, 2023 • 14 tweets • 6 min read
Times Up Let’s Do This: The Risky Consecration of LEEEEEEROY JEEEENNNNNKINS

a Thread

by Conan, Esq Image You remember Leeroy Jenkins. Early modern internet culture meme. Normies played WoW. There was a bridge. The earth was not yet round. I saw the video and laughed, but wasn’t old or online enough to get interested in it.

Oct 24, 2023 • 8 tweets • 3 min read
I’m a loyal guy and discreet. Central to my whole thing. It’s what they pay me for. Do you know what it takes for me to publicly turn on a guy I’ve liked?

It takes this. It’s over. I disavow. Is this true bros can I still laugh at the antics without feeling queasy
Oct 20, 2023 • 5 tweets • 3 min read
Longer and more elaborate hair tracks with aristocracy and power, but for some reason it flips when you get to the very top guy, who is always bald.

I knew Riddick would beat Vaako and become Lord Marshall immediately when I saw their hair.

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Oct 15, 2023 • 13 tweets • 4 min read
August Critic Jeffro Johnson recently said people don’t actually read Tolkien. I’ve said similar things many times. I really believe LotR/Tolkien has become a hyperobject with very little direct relation to the word on the page.
Image Recently I mocked one set of thin arguments people inherit and regurgitate about LotR. I’m completely right but the point is that these arguments don’t come from people actually reading and comprehending the words on the page.
Oct 11, 2023 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
Read Ayn Rand in high school, found her somewhat convincing. Then visited a college town. Heard college kids in the bookstore trashing Ayn Rand. Learned to have caution in what I say publicly. Also learned college kids were just as dumb / annoying as anyone else. Including Ayn. The casual brevity, the sprezzatura — how does he do it??
Oct 8, 2023 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
Who is the best author then Richard? Feel free to name 8-10 living authors who are the best ever (there should be around that many given the numbers). Including “Fastest Mile: 1999” is funny cuz it hurts his argument but he’s too midwit to realize it.

1999 is closer to Shakespeare than today in terms of sports records. It’s one of the very oldest mens race records.
Oct 5, 2023 • 15 tweets • 3 min read
Back in the day when I waited tables for side money, I knew some older guys, 30s, 40s, 50s, who did it professionally and made a lot of money at it. Had decent houses, supported families. They were just good at it. They knew how to add value to the dining experience. People would give them fat tips and they always worked at big money restaurants in nice areas because they were good at it. They didn't just follow the dress code, they made sure their clothes were clean, fit well, pressed, etc. They were always well groomed, had good posture.
Oct 5, 2023 • 8 tweets • 3 min read
something interesting is happening in this video and none of the commenters have any clue what it is It's the ring kiss guys. Pope Frances does not like receiving the more traditional forms of respect offered to the Pope. He doesn't wear the crown, the red shoes, doesn't live in the papal apartments. He doesn't like the ring kiss specifically.

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Sep 28, 2023 • 16 tweets • 6 min read
I speak now to all the unwelcome right wingers polluting the Tolkien Fandom.

I will address the matters of Racism in Tolkien once and for all.

Tolkien was racist, but Black People aren’t Orcs. I will explain:

1/ Image Yes he was racist, sorry Fascists, but by reading the Tolkien Extended Universe in the light of modern understandings of these issues and by including new voices, much of this Franchise can be redeemed.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t need to stop saying Black people are Orcs.
Sep 26, 2023 • 17 tweets • 4 min read
Did you read that book where an unreliable narrator tells you the story of his infamous life as an orphaned prodigy rejected from his guild and who, via a series of fantastic adventures and encounters with quasi-mythical entities, shapes the course of the world?
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Image I never see anyone compare these two series but the parallels are right there. They're painful because Book of the New Sun is so good and the Kingkiller Chronicle is incomplete (and, if you ask me, not very good). But I wanna riff on it. Image
Sep 8, 2023 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
The Davy Jones question is actually pretty interesting. It’s a little buried in the film despite the clear statement in dialog so people miss it. But he finds doomed souls and offers them a 100ye delay of death—in exchange for a horrible cursed form of life. Just a delay.
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Image Dead Man’s Chest is pretty strong but for a couple missteps. But At World’s End is starting off rocky. They really did a “comical number of hidden weapons” scene with Elizabeth Turner 🫤
Aug 31, 2023 • 19 tweets • 8 min read
There’s a real elegance to the structure of Mulan. I see it as a good lesson in how to tell the story of ‘the exception that proves the rule’. The movie is full of these adept Shakespearean symmetries. Maybe the most obvious is reprising the ‘Make A Man Out Of You’ theme from the Training Scene (Mulan masquerading as a man) during the Palace Rescue (The soldiers masquerading as women).
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Jul 23, 2023 • 10 tweets • 3 min read
Re-reading the first Mongoose & Meerkat in prep to finally read 2 and 3. They’re deceptively simple reads, but there’s so much skill on display. Extremely elegant, efficient writing. Image Look at this striking passage in ‘The Valley of Terzol’. Mangos and Kat, hired by a dweeb with a map, and heading through the jungle to the ruins of the palace.

Kat steals the map at night. Kat deduces dweeb’s an accountant. But allows he might be an archivist.
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Jul 18, 2023 • 17 tweets • 6 min read
You guys wanna know what it means to play for keeps in politics?

Let’s check in on what the Dems are doing to lawyers who supported Trump’s election challenges in 2020.

John Eastman is under the gun right now.


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Image Lurid headlines notwithstanding, Eastman is a heavy hitter in the legal world. He graduated Chicago Law and clerked for Justice Thomas. Among other things, he taught Con Law at Chapman, serves as a Senior Fellow at Claremont, chairs a Federalist Society practice group, etc, etc. Image
Jun 26, 2023 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
Why don't you guys just fire that lady and say you're sorry. Please, marketing person, listen to me personally. Tell your VP. Show them my tweet. This is horribly cringe. The people hate this. It is an escalation of sorts. Specifically a counter-gambit to the boycott. They’re not meeting demands, they’re exploring other lines of play. The boycott is doing well to remain cohesive. BUT it also can’t lose sight of the actual win condition here.
Jun 18, 2023 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
Disregarding current industry politics and assuming all cylinders firing for a creatively excellent movie, who could most interestingly replace Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow? Is it CREATIVELY worth keeping the specifics of the Pirates setting/characters/canon and introducing new heroes, or better to just take the broad direction—piratical adventure on the Spanish Main?
Jun 14, 2023 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
As a writer it’s completely valid to LARP as another crazy ethnicity to get published. It’s not even a work thing. It’s traditional. Like Guenon going by Abd al-Wahid Yahya. Or how Lobsang Rampa here is actually Cyril Hoskins from Devon Image
Jun 14, 2023 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
has it begun
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May 30, 2023 • 7 tweets • 3 min read
Read about this charming fellow William Dudley Pelley. He’s most famous for the 1929 essay “Seven Minutes in Eternity”, which is sort of the landmark modern out-of-body, vision-of-the-afterlife story. Image Before that, he was a fiction and screenwriter. He wrote a couple of Lon Cheney flicks and won the O Henry award for fiction writing. But he really blew up with Seven Minutes in Eternity.

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