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"I would've told you I was going to see my doctor afterwards" Tessy said, "I didn't know I was pregnant, I'm sorry" she added.

I paused for few seconds; turned to Oge, looked at Tessy while trying to hide the mini heart attack I just had!

My Sherikoko 2πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚

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"You can't be pregnant" I said to Tessy with a voice as silent as the opposite of loud, "you're pregnant?!" Oge exclaimed!

"Yes!!" Tessy replied, "isn't that what you told him?" She added.

"Uhm.." Oge stuttered, I stood there looking further confused

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes!"
She explained how she had an appointment with Sherikoko's father when she found out he was a doctor, "wait?! You're serious?" I asked Tessy & she said yes;

"What have I done to these village people" I thought;

"T.B.D!" someone suddenly screamed

"The Baby Daddy!!" I heard again
Read 59 tweets
Most guys understand the frustration behind 2face's voice when he screams "Amaka Disappoint Me!" in that song with Perruzzi, I can also relate because girls have 'shown me pepper' in this life.

I was a faithful lover at a stage in my life until;

Amaka Disappoint Me 😭

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I had gotten to the level where I could contest for election in my department so I decided to contest for 'Director Of Socials', "e go fit you skata" Zik said when I told him my intentions

"Serious?"

"Yes, we go campaign for you"

It was all the morale boost I needed

"Thanks!"
I told my course rep & colleagues of my intentions, "you go run unopposed!" CJ said - "e be like Slim K dey run too" one of my classmates said.

Who wan follow uchman dey drag social?" CJ asked surprisingly, "Uchman no worry we dey your back" he added!

I thanked them & left...
Read 72 tweets
I was working as a Supply Chain Officer in Lagos, I was in charge of expediting procurement & also following up on vendors.

One of our major suppliers had issues with her supply & she came to complain, she met me & I helped solve the issue.

That was the Genesis.

LADY B

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While she was leaving my office she left an envelope on my desk & walked away before I could notice, few minutes after she'd left I noticed it

I opened it to check & there was N10,000 inside it, I smiled - kept the envelope back on the table & kept working.

And Suddenly!!
I heard a Nokia phone ring, I looked closer & found out it was beside the envelope. I picked it up & answered the call & I heard a female voice

"This is Lady B" she said, "oh, hi Lady B" I reacted - she confirmed she left the envelope when I asked her just to be sure;

"Keep it"
Read 80 tweets
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The hunger from working had affected me so badly that when I got up to get food I almost fell, I went down & realised there was no food.

"Chai!" I screamed, the fridge was empty & the mall inside the estate was quite a distance but it was my only option.

SOLO WHY? 😭

Thread!
I located my flip-flops, grabbed my phone & wallet then headed straight to the gate. I had barely walked 5 minutes when I felt a heavy hit from behind my thighs, before I knew it I was on the floor.

I had been hit by a Range Rover driving by, it was so painful that I screamed!!
I quickly held my legs to ascertain the magnitude of the knock while the car parked & a young lady wearing heels hopped out of the car.

"Oh my God are you okay?!" She screamed, I didn't bother to respond as I kept expressing pains.

She started to panic..

#StoryTimeWithUche
Read 71 tweets
I woke up one day wondering when I'll graduate from the hustle phase & get a big break, my mood worsened when realised there was no power to work with.

I went to the kitchen & there was no food, the fridge was also empty!

Suddenly! My phone rang😨

(Phyno fit no know😧)

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I grabbed my phone to see who was calling & it was an unknown number, "My name is Temi from MTV, am I unto Uche?" A female voice spoke.

"Yes this is Uche!" I responded as we kept talking, she asked if I would like to be part of a talk show that is about to start.

"I'd love to"
She requested for an email & asked if we could meet up that day, "for a show on MTV I could meet everybody in Lagos in one day" I thought - I asked where & she wanted us to meet;

"I'll text you the address"

"Ok"

"I heard a lot about you, Mekwe King"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Great"
Read 71 tweets
My love for adventure tends to supersede my use for common sense sometimes,.but it's safe to say that it's no longer the case.

It all started when I went for my cousin's traditional marriage in the village and met Sola.

YEMOJA - The Sea Goddess 😭

#StoryTimeWithUche

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I had managed to save up some money though my business hadn't been doing well, my cousin was my favourite relative so I couldn't miss his wedding for the world.

I boarded a bus to Onitsha from Yaba on a Saturday and by 6pm I had arrived at my family compound

#StoryTimeWithUche
I stepped in I saw my little cousins playing, as soon as they saw me they ran to welcome me & I gave them what I bought on my way.

As I went inside the house I saw my cousin Tobe who was getting married

"Uchman you dun show"

"Yes o!"

"Welcome!"

"Nna welcome" my aunty said..
Read 74 tweets
One afternoon I got a DM from a white guy who said he likes what I do & I said "thanks", he asked where I was & I said Lagos.

"Hmm, so can we talk on WhatsApp?" He asked, I thought about it for a while

"Okay!"

I gave him my number.

White Caller😒

Thread

#StoryTimeWithUche
Less than 5 minutes later I got a video call from a North American number, "video call?What's going on here?" I thought, "igba wo l'abere love t'an kiss?"

I declined the call and went back to what I was doing, this guy called again!

"Again?!"

"Ah ah!"

"This guy serious o!"
I finally picked and the first thing I saw was this guy with my ex girlfriend Lizzy, they were kissing each and laughing at me on video.

"Hello Uche!!" They screamed like 2 fools on live television, I didn't understand what was going on so I asked.

"What's going on here Lizzy?"
Read 74 tweets
Poverty is a bastard & it can bring you the greatest insult of your life, I was selling printers & office suplies online during a jobless phase of my life & barely got orders

One day I got an order from "Phillip JK" & I jumped up excited!

Otedola😭

Thread!

#StoryTimeWithUche
I quickly accepted the order, processed it & headed out straight to Ikoyi to deliver the item myself. It was a printer & I'd packaged it in a leather bag & carried it on my laps all through to Lekki.

It was the last unit I had left, I hoped the proceeds would last me a while..
I alighted at my bus stop looking like a house maid, "see what hustle has done to me" I cried inside as I stopped a bike to take me to my final destination.

I climbed & as the bike rode through the muddy road we plunged into a pothole & fell!

"Wayo Allah!" The bike man wailed!
Read 74 tweets
I got a mail one day & hoped it was from this IT firm I'd applied to for a Procurement expediter role, I looked & luckily it was them!

"Yaay!!" I screamed when it read that I passed the aptitude test & should get ready for the interview.

Biggie Biggie! Heavy Heavy! 😭

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I was working with a shipping agency in apapa but needed a proper job so I hoped that I got it, the next day I lied to my boss that grandmother's best friend died; & that I was her god son, & there was a ritual I needed to do.

Luckily he believed & let me take few days off..
On my way home I got to oshodi & there was a gridlock, a tanker fell on the road so there was no movement. I thought of what to do, I brought out my phone & opened my WhatsApp

"How far?" KK sent about an hour ago, I replied him & he said he was stuck in traffic

"Oshodi own abi?
Read 77 tweets
"Uche! Report to the diary room!" Big Brother said so I hurried, as I was about to climb the stairs to the diary room I tripped & fell.

Damn!

I suddenly woke up & realized I wasn't even in Small Brother, talk more of Big Brother!

My food is burning!😲

Big Brother😭

Thread!
I quickly went to the kitchen & luckily my stew was only slightly burnt, I turned off the gas & started to reflect on the dream I had - I was discussing with Miracle and Nina, then I massaged Koko's back before Big Brother called me.

"What does this dream mean?" I asked myself..
While still pondering I reached for the little raw rice I had left, I decided to boil & eat for the weekend because I was broke & couldn't access money till the following week.

After putting the rice on fire I went to tune my Dstv to channel 198; just to watch Big Brother Naija!
Read 72 tweets
One day I got a DM from Donjazzy saying he loved my story, I almost fainted but I had to remain alive to go verify if it was the original Donjazzy, "it's him!" I said when I verified.

"Thank uπŸ™" I replied, "Let's meet up" he wrote.

I fainted!

It's Donjazzy Again IDJA

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I woke up immediately & saw my DM still open, "it's actually real, Donjazzy DM'd me!" I screamed, I immediately replied to say I was available & he texted me where to meet him.

I closed my app, dropped my phone & went to have my bath. While at it I remembered my crush Kemi..
I had been 'toasting' her for 3 months now & I promised myself that once she says yes I'd breakup with Kiki, "Maybe I'll take a picture with Donjazzy & send to her so that she'll like me more" I thought.

I finished having my bath, dressed up, grabbed my stuff & headed out proud.
Read 70 tweets
"Let's meet at my office" Mr John sent & I became excited, I'd been chasing this deal for moths so I hurried

I was at the bus stop when this beautiful girl alighted from a bus with heavy luggages "can you please help me?" She said as she looked at me.

Young John 😭😭

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I carried the heaviest of them all & held another on my right hand as I struggled through the muddy road, she kept thanking me all through till we got to her gate.

When I dropped the bag I realized I had stained my top, she started to apologize & told me to come in.

"I'm sorry"
I told her I would take care of the stain because I was running late for a meeting, she insisted & pleaded that I come insaying she have a top that'd fit me.

"Hmm. Ok" I agreed

"You can put this on, I'll wash this & you can come get it on your way back"

I pause for a minute...
Read 72 tweets
My journey of love didn't begin well, I fell in love with Nike in my new school and my life changed.

We called her Nikki, I did everything possible through the help of my new friend KK to woo her but "bad belle" was everywhere.

NIKKI MINAJ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜˜

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The first day in my new school was awkward because I was the only one not putting on a uniform in my class, I was in science class & I took the first day to profile my classmates.

I looked out for the bullies, the 'I too knows', the 'I don't cares' & of course the slay queens.
Subsequent days were better because I got my school uniform on time & life in the new school had started, one afternoon while we were on long break I noticed this fine chocolate girl walking towards me.

It felt like everything around me paused & she was on slow motion.

Damn!
Read 68 tweets
Some months ago I got a DM from someone who said he was my biggest fan, "I'll like us to hangout" he said. I told him I was honoured to have him as a fan.

"Lets meet around Lekki Phase 1" he said, I told him I was going to be free that Saturday evening.

Cool

Hangout😭

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I sent him my number and he called, later that weekend we met at a joint around admiralty and he was excited to finally meet his "favourite Story teller"

"Its nice to meet you too bro" I said as we both went into the bar.

"Wetin you dey drink?" He asked

"Oh Heineken"

"Yeah"
We ordered drinks and some meat & we started to eat, he asked some questions he had been curious about and I answered.

After a while he said he wanted to show me some cool joints on the mainland

"Are you in a hurry?" He asked

"Nah, I'm not"

"Lets check out some places"

"Ok"
Read 66 tweets
Why do some girls love making everything an issue, & for love sake you'll be dying inside for peace to reign.

I chose to work out to aid my discovery after I quit my job so I registered in a gym. I met Lucy, everything was ok until my girlfriend saw us together.

CEE C😭

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I had just joined the gym classes & my routine was still light, I was running on treadmills to build my fitness before I'd begin working on my body.

I got to the gym quite early on this occasion & I was alone, I started to work out & more people joined me.
While I was running on the treadmill I plugged music in my ears so I didn't notice people around me, after I had ran to my satisfaction I turned it off and when I got down from the treadmill I noticed this lady waiting for me to finish.

"You're done yeah?" She asked

"Yeah!" 😀
Read 62 tweets
"Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you but I just wanted to tell you that you're very beautiful"

"Oh Thanks"

"You're welcome. I saw the way you attended to the old man by the hallway, that was really nice of you"

"Yeah, he needed help so I thought it would hurt to help"

"Nice.."
"Can I know your name? That's if you don't mind meeting a stranger"

"It's okay, I'm Ella"

"Hi Ella, I'm Uche & it's my pleasure"

"Nice to meet you too Uche"

"I'm actually hurrying up to meet my friends over there, can I possibly get your contact?"

"Oh sure, bring your phone"
That was how I met Ella in the mall few years ago, she looked calm and angelic in her light blue top & black skinny jeans. I promised to call when I got home later that day.

I met up with my friends & we went to the Cinema to watch a movie

Ojuju Calabar 😭

#StoryTimeWithUche
Read 64 tweets
Let me tell you guys a story, Tunde bought plenty Valentine gift for his girlfriend and kept in his room. He planned on giving his girlfriend when he returns from work in the evening.

But Tunde has a flatmate (Tolu) & they live in a 2 bedroom flat πŸ˜‚

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#StoryTimeWithUche
Tolu's girlfriend came to pay a surprise visit to him, she had visited the house just once (before they moved in) so she dressed nice (red and white) and bought a gift for Tolu (who was at work too) and planned on staying in his room till he got back.
She went to the house at about past 12 when she was sure that they would be at work, Tolu had made other plans with another girl because his girlfriend had lied that she was traveling.

She had a spare key so she got inside the house, unfortunately she went to the wrong roomπŸ˜‚
Read 34 tweets
When you think you're a Mekwe Lord but you meet not one but 2 Mekwe Queens in a space of days, you know that your destiny is about to be re-arranged.

Kenny was scrolling through his gallery & I pointed towards one slim, dark girl.

MEKWE ON THE RUN πŸƒ

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#StoryTimeWithUche
Kenny came to see my brother while I was around, he waited outside sipping on some Goldberg & scrolling through his phone.

"How far na?" I ask him

"I dey" he responds.

I looked at his phone & saw this fine girl

"This babe fine o, how far?"

"Ha! Ushe,No o!"

"Wetin happen?"
"Ha, omo this girl go kill you o" Kenny said, I asked him if she was a hired killer & he laughed.

"The babe na Nackademus" Kenny adds, I told him to give me her contact & he said he would talk to her first.

I told him it was fine & he nodded; my brother later came to join us.
Read 62 tweets
When you meet the Love of your life & she gives you the "I have a boyfriend" line, trust me u can't be bothered.

I met Gloria in church one thanksgiving Sunday & it was the period I was getting tired of my girlfriend.

(THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE)

Thread of life

#StoryTimeWithUche
Chioma was frustrating & putting pressure on me, she would complain about everything I do to make her happy. One day I asked her to come see me before I travel back to Lagos, she asked for transport fare which I sent to her but she never came.

I got angry & travelled to Lagos!
I got to Lagos on Saturday & the next Sunday was thanksgiving Sunday in church, I thought of attending because it's been long I went.

I selected a native attire, ironed it & got set for church the next day.

Next day I went to church, everybody looked nice.

#StoryTimeWithUche
Read 64 tweets
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