Thread by @perepereden

So yesterday, I was doing an orientation for our new teen interns and we ended up talking about mental health in men (they're all boys)

There were a lot of dismissive 'ugh emotions?' remarks and so I asked them if any of them knew Etika

They all went silent for a moment before all piping up that they knew him, they watched his videos, and then mimicked some of his reactions for fun

Then one of them said they wished he'd gotten the help he needed

It was a moment that I think even myself was not ready for, watching these teenage boys who just moments ago dismissed mental health as a joke come to terms with what that meant

It was an almost disquieting moment that ended with one of them blurting that he felt men were more depressed than women

I responded that I think it's the same, but women are more open to expressing their emotions and have better social networks to cope

I asked why men do not have the same luxury and after a minute, a few said that it's 'weak' to say things like that, that they should just toughen up than piddle around being 'sad'

So I asked, why is that?

Why do men have to suffer in silence, when you are all born with the same emotions, feelings, and tear ducts as women? Just because someone else tells you that suffering alone is 'tough'?

Who are they to take that away from you? Who are they to force you to run, instead of understand a fundamental part of yourself?

Who are they to say the only way out from suffering is death?

Your mental health matters, just as much as your physical health does. What gender you are doesn't change that and you deserve to have help when you need it.

The room's quiet and the boys are staring at their hands at this point, until the class clown chirps up

"Do you think things could've been different for Etika?"

I don't think I ever said 'yes' so fast in my life.

I don't have all the answers, I don't know when was the 'point of no return' for him and I doubt we ever will.

And I told these boys the same, that I don't know. But what I do know is that you all matter and all means your emotions too

I'm still a wee bit emotional about this haha so it was really hard to type out, but seriously my dudes, don't do a disservice to yourself

You have an undeniable right to be happy, to be sad, to express yourself without someone shaming you for it.

I'd like to see a day when parents aren't shaming their son for crying, when fathers can talk about their struggles than drink them away, when more guys can allow themselves to be more than 'tough' and 'angry'

Someday, you know

There's always a way to live.

I'm beyond floored by the response to this (and pained that it's something that feels rarely said) and I just want to say thank *you* all for your time and for standing up to share your experiences. Don't let anyone invalidate that; it's yours and yours alone!

I'm going to do my best to reply to everyone once I'm off work, but man, please also thank yourselves for allowing yourself to be you. You're rocking it and you're amazing 🌻!