Today I went to the post office and had the dubious honour of meeting perhaps the most entitled loathsome prick I have encountered in person for many a month
/1
It was one of those post-offices-which-is-also-a-corner-shop things, because privatisation is always an improvement. Post office bit is a separate till to the main shop one. Because reasons, I guess
/2
I'm sure this two-till setup is more efficient if they have more staff than one women in her sixties working them both. Unfortunately, that was exactly what we had here. She was doing her best, running essentially 2 business single handed
/3
But as you can imagine, there was quite a queue for quite a while.
I had to send off several packages, so I knew it would take a while. So hung back for people with smaller items/jobs to go first.
/4
I'm not being Mr Altruism here, by the way. It's a personal preference. I'd rather wait a few more minutes to get served than spend the whole time sorting delivery instructions with several strangers staring daggers at the back of my head.
/5
So, older serving lady is flitting between the two tills, trying to keep up. At last, there's three of us customers left. Me, and older gent buying a newspaper, and... this wretched human.
/6
A description; chisel-jawed twentysomething man. False tan. Gelled hair with frosted tips. Tight pink shirt. Cargo shorts.
In my memory, he was wearing a cap with the word PRICK written on it, but I think that's just my brain retroactively editing things
/7
Anyway, Mr Cargo Shorts is standing in queue in front of the shop till, behind newspaper man. Newspaper man pays and leaves. Staff lady asks what he wants, he says he just needs a stamp for a letter
"Ah, you need to get that from the Post Office till"
Cue MASSIVE SIGH!
/8
You'd swear she said told him he needs to fill in 70 separate forms in a building across town, not walk LITERALLY two steps. Which he then does. Very begrudgingly.
It shouldn't be possible to visibly harrumph while walking two steps, but fair play he managed it
/9
Of course, now there's a problem. The Post Office till, that this guy needs to use, isn't empty. Someone's waiting to be served there. Namely, me. He's not going to like that, mister any-minor-inconvenience-is-a-crime-against-humanity-by-which-I-mean-me
/10
Lucky for him, I know how he only needs a stamp, so I let him go first. Even though I've been there at least 10 mins longer than him. That'll keep him happy, right?
Hah, Christ no!
/11
As he says to the cashier lady;
"Why couldn't you just walk to this till and serve me over there? It's ridiculous. Disgraceful. No point to it. You don't know what you're doing. I should have been served first" etc.
Reminder: HE *WAS* SERVED FIRST! Because I'm generous
/12
Thankfully, I said the cashier lady was a bit old. And, it turns out, a bit deaf. She was just nodding and smiling, saying "yes" and "I know" at random intervals, while he ranted pompously about the extra 3 seconds (max) her methods have added to his day
/13
If anything, given that she's a woman in her 60s and he's a chiselled 20ish young man, making her do all the moving would have made things much longer. I suspect his real outrage was due to being made to do something by a woman he's not attracted to. But that's just a guess
/14
Seriously though, cashier lady's deafness-induced lack of reaction to his angry entitled diatribe was the only thing keeping me from trying to slash his jugular with a paper cut from discount birthday card on a nearby shelf.
/15
Eventually he hands over his stamped letter for posting with every possible bad grace and stomps out, presumably to spread dick vibes into some other innocent person's life. And so, I finally get to sort my parcels out.
/16
I can't just let the whole thing pass without comment though. Staff like her must get enough shit as it is, I feel compelled to show some solidarity. So I say, loudly and clearly because of her hearing issues, "Wow, what was THAT guy's problem?"
/17
Her response, in fairness, was sublime. She looked me square in the eye and said:
"I'm not deaf. I was ignoring him. I'm used to his sort. He doesn't like the service he can go elsewhere. We'll manage without his 70 bastard pence"
My point is, not all heroes wear capes
/end
Share this Scrolly Tale with your friends.
A Scrolly Tale is a new way to read Twitter threads with a more visually immersive experience.
Discover more beautiful Scrolly Tales like this.