Gavin Sheridan Profile picture
On hiatus. Journalism, law, tech.

Aug 21, 2019, 17 tweets

*deep breath*. So there's a, em, "story" in The Sun by @tnewtondunn. And he uses the English language in such creative ways. God help his mentions 1/

@tnewtondunn The headline reads "Boris Johnson wants temporary arrangement with Ireland that guarantees no hard border"

BANISH THE BACKSTOP!

@tnewtondunn It's a "salvo" folks.

@tnewtondunn The SUN has LEARNED Johnson is READY folks. He's READY. So, Ireland would WIN from Brussels dispensation to diverge... from.... EU.... rules....??

And we would ALIGN with the UK.

@tnewtondunn Under the sub-head "DEPENDENT ON BRITAIN" it goes on...

"the plan RISKS infuriating Irish politicians, who risked (sic?) being accused of being dependent on Britain again, almost 100 years after Irish independence" 👀 OH MAN.

@tnewtondunn Keep quiet on the next bit though, in case Paddy finds out he's being fooled: 🤫🤫🤫

A SENIOR MINISTER said: 'Ideally... the EU would formally propose it rather than us to (sic?) it is more acceptable to the Irish". SURE PADDY WILL NEVER KNOW!

TIGHT LIPPED!🤦‍♂️

@tnewtondunn Ah! Shanker, the idiot, says he supports it. Gaslighting Ireland since 2016.

@tnewtondunn Shanker, the idiot, thinks such as bilateral agreement would be "POLITICALLY DIFFICULT" for Ireland.

Well gee golly. You think?

It's really an Irish problem you see, not a British one.

But, Shanker says, it would be a "slow divergence". So, BE GRAND LADS.

@tnewtondunn And THERE YOU HAVE IT PADDY, PROBLEM SOLVED.

I actually laughed out loud reading this. The sheer lunacy. What can you do but laugh? It's like a comedy script.

@tnewtondunn I read it again....

@tnewtondunn And I can't stop.

@tnewtondunn Oh god.

@tnewtondunn I want whatever that SENIOR MINISTER is smoking. 😂😂😂😂

@tnewtondunn Oh shtop. Shtop!

Wait wait, I have a better one! Why doesn't Ireland REJOIN the UK?! We'll get the Brussels bureaucrats to suggest it! Paddy will be NONE THE WISER. And we can fly the kite in the The Sun! Paddy never reads The Sun. On the internet.

@tnewtondunn So apparently the UK is still a serious country. To be taken seriously. And is definitely not a laughing stock of international relations. Seriously.

@tnewtondunn On a serious note, here's a piece I did in Feb that tries to explain Irish perceptions of the UK. I wish more British politicians read history.

newstatesman.com/politics/brexi…

@tnewtondunn Update: 😂😂😂 Did SENIOR MINISTER fly a kite on a SOLO RUN? Or was he/she cut loose?

Share this Scrolly Tale with your friends.

A Scrolly Tale is a new way to read Twitter threads with a more visually immersive experience.
Discover more beautiful Scrolly Tales like this.

Keep scrolling