Thread by @JuliusGoat

You: Pardon me
Me: What
You: You’re standing on my foot
Me: I don’t think so
You: You are
Me: I don’t have a standing on feet bone in my body
You: If you just look—
Me: So now I can’t even stand
You: No it’s just that—
Me: You have to be SO CAREFUL these days where you stand—GOD

You: If you could just move
Me: I don’t think I’m standing on you
You: But you are. On my foot.
Me: I didn’t mean to
You: Yes but you are
Me: Well I always stand here
You: You’ve been on my foot every time
Me: Well then why didn’t you ever say anything before?
You: Can’t imagine

You: My foot really hurts
Me: I don’t think so; I don’t feel it
You: Yes, it’s MY foot. *I* feel it
Me: That scolding tone makes me want to step on your foot
You: Ow
Me: That’s what you get

You: Honestly, I need to move
Me: Then move! *I* move wherever I want without help
You: Again, you are standing. On. My. Foot.
Me: So sick of people making everything about feet.
You: I ...
Me: *I* have feet too, you know
You: Your foot is ON mine!
Me: That's so divisive

You: So anyway—
Me: It is really divisive for you to say I'm someone who stands on feet
You: You are. Right now. You can see it. Look down.
Me: I don't look down
You: What do you mean, you don't look d—
Me: I was taught all feet are the same
You: WHAT?
Me: I don't even SEE feet

You: That's better
Me: What?
You: You moved.
Me: Did I?
You: Yes.
Me: You were trapped and I freed you!
You: I wouldn't quite put it that w—
Me: I'm the hero!
You: That is NOT what happ—
Me: A 'thank you' would be nice
You: You're still on my laces
Me: It's always something w/you

Me: I think we both learned something
You: DID we?
Me: Great dialogue
You: OK?
Me: Exchange of ideas
You: Man, whatever
Me: You know? I don't think *I* taught YOU so much as...
You: Don't finish that—
Me: YOU taught ME
You: —sentence
Me: ANYhoo I'm voting the foot-stepping party