Thread by @TomFrankly

I’d say a full 60% of the emails I get in my business account are now unsolicited guest post pitches - far more than in the past.

At this rate, I calculate that by 2030, 99% of the world’s population will be employed as guest bloggers.

I will be long gone by then, crushed by an avalanche of envelopes as more and more desperate bloggers try to cut through the noise by sending their pitches in the mail.

2035: The world government decides that something must be done. Famine has stricken the world as farmers everywhere trade the practice of growing actual food for pitching 5 Secret Tips for Growing Heirloom Tomatoes to long-abandoned contact forms.

An AI is created to take over all of the economy’s necessary functions.

It is given only two utility functions: ensure the survival of the human species, and acquire more guest posts.

Something something paperclip maximizer

The human race enters a symbiotic relationship with its new AI overlord. Guest posts become the new currency: A loaf of bread can be had for 8 Things Only People from Indiana Will Understand. A tank of gas only costs You Won’t Believe What Justin Bieber Did Now (Not Clickbait).

But, of course, the AI can not accept sustainable levels of guest blog post acquisition. The numbers must go up. They must always go up. THEY MUST ALWAYS-

2050, citizen’s private log:

“Things are better now. So what if I’m an artificially grown pair of hands, paired with a genetically-modified brain that can only know about 10 Actors You Always See, But Can’t Name? At least someone’s reading what I write.”