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Mar 18, 2020, 12 tweets

#Sex and #COVID19: Tips from a Sex Doctor (Thread)

Feelings first: It's normal in times of crisis to have fluctuating levels of desire. Some people may have an elevated drive (especially for those who feel sex makes them feel loved), whereas others may have low drive due to stress. Both are normal responses.

Ok, so what's allowed during a pandemic. TLDR answer: we don't know for sure, but, as mentioned, semen and vaginal fluid doesn't transmit virus. Facial secretions do, hence why kissing with a sore throat or cold is never in fashion. Also, stool may contain virus so watch the bum.

It's important to separate social distancing - strategies to reduce exposure to +++ people in close proximity - from avoidance of human contact, especially in a cohort (house) that is reducing exposure to outside.

Sex in a bathhouse = NO. Sex in a bed with 1 or 2 people = OK.

Isolation is a different story. If you're isolating because of a positive swab, yes, abstaining would be prudent (even though a close contact would be at high risk of getting it anyways)

Ok, let's say you're too stressed to have sex. The next step is to COMMUNICATE. Be honest with one another, but also find ways to show love and affection in other ways. Remember those high drive people? Sex is a form of security. Make them feel secure some other way.

Travel is tricky for non-cohabiting couples (not living together) travel for a date is fine - stick to social distancing rules.

Which brings me to apps and non-monogamous friends. This is tough, but, from an epidemiological lens, it's time to cut back on swiping and hooking up with lots of people. We know from the STI world that these connections form wonderful nodes of transmission of infection.

But don't forget that lots of things count as sex. Sexting, voice, video (with consent and don't save it), emailing or co-creating erotic stories, streaming pornography at the same time, toys, the options are endless. A small amount of thought and creativity go a long way.

For people stuck in a routine, try the basic approach to sexual adventuring: WIN

W. WHEN you did "X"
I. I felt "Y", which made me think that
N. NEXT time maybe we could try "Z"

So, with this painfully long thread, I conclude by saying be safe, limit your # of partners, and communicate!

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