Thread by @thecoachkessler

About 4 years ago, I embarked on a 3 week silent retreat. No phone, no music, no books, no tv, no distractions of any kind, and no contact with the outside world (aside from one hour a day with the therapist facilitating the experience).

While it was one of the most transformational experiences of my life, it was also brutally painful and devastatingly lonely.

Since many of us are facing unprecedented amounts of alone time and isolation, I thought I would share a few things I learned from my experience:

1️⃣ Developing a routine, of some kind, is essential to establishing some semblance of normalcy. This could be as simple as eating meals at the same time every day or as stringent as time blocking your day.

2️⃣ Connecting with nature is both stabilizing and soothing. This can be accomplished through a short walk each day, a morning meditation while looking out the window, having coffee on your front porch, etc.

3️⃣ Screens do not fill a void, they merely distract you from it. Take some time away from your phone and computer to be in your body and fully experience your emotions. Movement is really helpful. Walk around your home, consciously alter your posture, stretch, punch the air, etc.

4️⃣ There is no way out but through. Whatever obsessive thoughts or tumultuous emotions this pandemic has inspired will be there until you move through them. Wondering how? Write down all of your truths — no matter how raw or ugly they might feel — and get them outside your body.

5️⃣ If you are not in a position to seek outside input or virtual companionship, recall your fondest memories. Write them down. Draw — even if you don’t feel like you’re good at it.

Make lists of your favorite things, the best attributes of yourself, the people you love, the hobbies you long to get back to. This practice will create a thread connecting the “you” in this moment to the “you” that has previously existed and will exist again.

6️⃣ Sing. Cry. Pray. Let yourself feel all that you can bear — and then some — and then sleep.

7️⃣ Drink lots of water. Make several cups of tea.

8️⃣ Write letters you those you love, whisper forgiveness to those you have wronged (even if you cannot actually tell them), discover who you are when not confined by what you do or how you interact with the world.

9️⃣ Listen to the birds. Marvel at the simplicity of their day-after-day rhythms. Notice how they somehow still rise with the sun, despite all that overwhelms our human sensibilities.

🔟 And since this isn’t a silent retreat in which you are completely cut off from human interaction, pick up the phone. Call a friend. FaceTime a loved one. Remind yourself of the beauty of being connected, even in such a time as this.

The coronavirus may have closed down restaurants, overwhelmed hospitals, emptied the streets, and disrupted our routines. But it hasn’t stripped us of our humanity.

You can still laugh ‘til you cry, share virtual drinks with friends, listen to your favorite music, grieve life’s deep loss, celebrate milestones, and even fall in love.

We will get through this together, even though we might be apart physically. The only way out is through.