Thread by @danielmkim

Ready for another thread, ladies & gents? Glad you asked. So simple, yes, even a Marine couldn't fuck it up, though that's hardly guaranteed, because Marines are still gonna Marine. Looks like #CookingForLieutenants is getting hijacked by Uncle Sam's Misguided Children tonight.

Like any good discussion, we need to settle on definitions. Croque Monsieur, "crunch sir," is a lovely snack made from thin cut bread, butter with a fat content so high that cardiologists would love to slap a warning label on it, whipped eggs, sliced ham, & Gruyère cheese.

In short, you're talking about a griddled ham & cheese sandwich. Croque Madame, however, is a different matter. Mind you, this is the feminine form of the term, & is virtually the same sandwich, but topped with a sunny-side-up fried egg. But this is about Monsieur, not Madame.

My personal introduction to this magical sandwich was a now-defunct Georgetown restaurant called Au Pied de Cochon on Wisconsin Ave, during my freshman year at GWU. It was a revelation, not least because the server said it would be great to absorb all the liquor in my belly.

Dear reader, it worked as advertised, especially when paired with a bushel of pommes frites accompanied by cute little sides of garlic aioli, & I will forever be in Jean-Pierre's debt. Anyway, back to making a Croque Monsieur.

Recipe:
Preheat a cast iron skillet or nonstick pan for 5 minutes. Preheat an oven to 325 degrees F. Spread béchamel sauce on one side of each of the two slices of bread. Quick béchamel recipe here. thespruceeats.com/bechamel-sauce…

Lay 2-3 slices of French ham (serrano ham also works if you want a saltier end product) on top of 1 slice of bread, & layer Gruyère in between slices of ham. This is when I also add a schmear of Dijon mustard on top to cut through the fat. Top with the second slice of bread.

Melt 1 tbsp butter in the pan, allow the perimeter of the melted butter to brown, use a spatula to put the raw sandwich(es) in the pan. You should hear a satisfying sizzle while the béchamel begins to caramelize. Flip & repeat until you've achieved the proper "croque" (crust).

Remove the sandwiches from the pan, then place them on a tray, & put the tray in your preheated oven. Within 5-7 minutes, the cheese in your sandwiches should begin to melt & sizzle. Upon pain of death, do not remove them from the oven until this happens.

Remove your Croque Monsieurs from the oven, then cut into halves or quarters before serving. If you're making Croque Madames, now would be the time to top the Monsieurs with a fried egg. Pierce the yolk & let it run over the sides of the Croque Madame.

I will not be taking questions at this time. You've had your lesson. Go forth & make wonderful French sandwiches.

Here endeth the lesson.