Thread by @monlouhawk

I was invited yesterday to have a Covid-19 PCR test (I am not a keyworker, but as a volunteer using the COVID Symptom Tracker).

I thought I'd just set out my experience of the testing process.

Firstly, I was impressed with the smoothness of the test booking process.

The self-test kits to be sent home were no longer available for my chosen day.

But I'm lucky that I can drive, and I was given a choice of test sites near me, and there were spaces available.

I was very keen to not have to do the test myself, so I was reassured that the centre I chose (Cattle Market Car Park) said that there would be a choice between having someone administer the test, or me doing the test myself.

I turned up today, had to show the barcode that had been emailed to me, and someone placed a testkit on the passenger seat of my car, gave me some instructions about placing a barcode sticker on a test receipt card, and told me to park up and put my hazard lights on when ready.

Once my hazard lights were on, the next person turned up and started showing me photos of tonsils and noses and instructions on where to swab and for how long.

At this point I felt panic and said 'but I don't want to do it myself, I was told someone would do this for me!'

The reply was that they were not qualified to do it, and explained again about the swab - 5 seconds to the right of my tonsils, 5 to the left, 5 in the middle, then 5 in a nostril. And don't touch tongue or teeth because that would invalidate the test.

I tried to do it. It made me gag, I'm sure I've done it wrong - it's really difficult to do this to yourself. Anyway I did the best I could but I'm worried this test will have been for nothing.

Once done, back to hazard lights on.

This time I was given instructions on sealing the bag (having placed bar code stickers on the bag and the test tube).

I was told very clearly that once home, I must click on the link in the text message I had already received, and that would allow me to scan the barcode.

Finally, I was told to drive to the exit to hand over my test, and the last barcode.

At the exit, I handed over bag and final barcode, and was given strict instructions to phone the telephone phone number on the test receipt card BEFORE THIS EVENING.

I said 'oh but your previous colleague told me I needed to scan the barcode'?

He said 'You MUST phone the number'

I said 'ok, I will - but just thought I'd point out that you and your colleagues are giving different instructions'

He shrugged so I left.

At home I first tried to use the link, and entered (not scanned) my barcode. It said it was already registered and I couldn't register it again.

I then thought I'd better do as I told, and rung the number.

I got through to an automated service, with quite confusing options. If I was ringing before 4 hours after the test, and I hadn't yet received a text message….

I thought - best to wait till 4 hours have passed.

4 hours later, no new text message had arrived, so I rang again, and got through to a very helpful person.

She asked me all my details (name, date of birth, barcode, postcode), and finally the test centre. I told her, but she couldn't find it….

She spent 10 minutes trying to find the test centre where I'd just been today, and couldn't find it. She said there were quite a lot of teething troubles - some test centres were out of date, others were new (pop-up) and not on their list yet.

Yet I had chosen the test centre on a Gov.UK website!

She explained that 99% of the time anyway, people who had a barcode were already registered and didn't need to ring (I'm getting so confused) .

She said that if I wanted reassurance, then I could ring my NHS trust instead, and they would be able to tell. She was really apologetic - also explaining that of course she was working from home, having to message supervisors rather than having anyone with her.

I have no complaint about this person at all - but really the system is incredibly not joined up.

I explained to her as well that I was really unhappy about having had to do the test myself, and she said if I'd gone to a leisure centre instead of a pop-up site, there would have been qualified people to do the test.

But how on earth was I supposed to know that? My site wasn't labelled as a pop-up site, and it specifically said I would have the choice of doing the test myself or having someone else administer it!

Anyway, I now have to wait between 2 and 5 days to get the result of the test. I'm fairly sure I do not have Covid-19, and so I'm not worried for myself.

However I really hope that the test actually worked. Because I'm worried that amongst the tens of thousands of tests now done every day there may be many invalid ones.