I have a sibling who is a malignant narcissist. In my immediate family, we are the only two people who are not cis. For many years, my sibling bullied me as a child and then attempted to manipulate my choices and my self perception as I came into adulthood. 1/
It was painful and at the time I had no concept of a what a narcissist was. I just remember that whenever I sought to confront them for some terrible thing they had said or done, they would go into some long preamble about some calamitous event they had experienced. 2/
Over time, this wore me down. I stopped talking to them for months at a time but we were still connected on social media. One day they started communicating with me more over Twitter but the communication was always focused on something I wasn’t doing enough of. 3/
I completely cut them off after they went on some long tirade about how they wanted me to use my social media. I declined and they told me they were blocking me as a punishment. That’s when I stopped talking to them because I realized how they were recreating a cycle of harm. 4/
Last year, after I hadn’t spoken with them for several years, they started going around social media and making posts about me in an effort to get me to respond. I didn’t. They went to Instagram, LinkedIn, and any Facebook page they could find to try to embarrass me. 5/
I didn’t respond. Fast forward to this month and they’ve started the cycle all over again. As someone whose consulting and coaching practice is centered in #BoundaryWork, I get so many people who share their stories about surviving relationships with narcissists. 6/
Unless you have experienced it, it is so hard to explain. I still love my sibling but they cannot be in my life because I won’t allow it. I had to set a firm boundary long ago to choose my safety and well-being over our relationship as siblings. 7/
I’m writing this here now because you just might see some of their comments across social media. It hurts and it stings but to act as if it’s not happening would be to give their behavior power. And I won’t give their behavior power. I won’t give their harm power. 8/
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