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Fictional deities, ancient and modern, for all occasions & Second Bestiary a merry menagerie of single letter mutations. Completely random stuff inbetween.

Aug 11, 2020, 15 tweets

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring. 🧵

1. Mr Nightingale to Florence

"It's like the bloody Blackpool Illuminations in here!"

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

2. Miss "The Conqueror" to little William

"You'll have someone's eye out with that!"

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

3. Mrs Borden to Lizzie

"You'll be the death of me!"

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

4. Mrs Capes to young Geoff

"If you don't stop it, I'm going to pull the car over."

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

5. Conrad Hilton to Paris

"You treat this house like a bloody hotel!"

(From Alex)

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

6. Penelope to Telemachus

"Just you wait 'til your father gets home!"

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

7. Mr Lloyd Webber to Andrew

"Why do you always have to make a song and dance about everything."

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

8. Mrs Oates to young Lawrence "Titus"

"Take your coat off, or you won't feel the benefit when you go outside."

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

9. Mrs Hawking to young Stephen

"It's your own time you're wasting."

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

10. Domitia Paulina to young Emperor Hadrian.

"Sometimes it's like talking to a wall!"

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

11. Alexander II of Scotland to Alexander III

"I suppose if all your friends decided to ride off a cliff you'd do that too would you?"

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

12. Mrs Rasputin to young Grigori

"Don't you give me that look!"

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

13. Mr Fred Trump to Donald.

"Don't be bloody clever."

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

14. Maham Begum to young Emperor Humayun

"Don't run downstairs like that! You'll break your neck!"

#ParentsOfHistory
Things parents of famous people probably said to their offspring.

15. Mrs Geldof to young Bob

"Eat your greens! There are starving children in the world who'd be glad to have that!"

(From Sarah on FB)

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