Thread by @baph0meat

ITS HAPPENIGN

me, incredulously: you cant be your best friend’s defense attorney!!! right???
marina, who is in ip law not criminal law: i don’t know!
me, who was expecting to be able to rely on her for background legal info this whole time: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW

oh also this thread will have spoilers obviously. spoilers for ace attorney which has been out for a long time but whatever. i’ll tag #iraattorney so you can blacklist my livetweeting either way

#iraattorney phoenix is adorable. that is my first impression right off the bat. but i am not sure this man is a good lawyer

#iraattorney HES A BAD LAWYER

#iraattorney fascinated by the worldbuilding of this universe where murders go to trial three days after they occur

#iraattorney TJE CONFETTI ON A NOT GUILTY VERDICT???? listen i’m choosing to take absolutely everything that happens literally and at face value and it’s informing my personal understanding of the setting of these games

#iraattorney NO!!!! NO!!!!!! ACE ATTORNEY GIVETH AND IT TAKETH AWAY!!!!!!!!!!

#iraattorney COME BACK WITH A WARRANT PHOENIX THIS IS NOT HOW THINGS ARE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT GO THROUGH A LADIE’S THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!

#iraattorney personally when you give me a woman with huge tits and pink hair and extremely unsettling behavior you make it hard for me to root for the guy uncovering her evil machinations

#iraattorney i am the exact right person to be playing this game because i am precisely as stupid as phoenix wright himself and he and i are just sitting here SWEATING IT OUT. i DO forget

#iraattorney im obsessed with you. im obsessed with you. im obsessed with you. im o

#iraattorney

#iraattorney despite my heartbreak this is a very fun game. i’m glad i’m playing it myself instead of watching a no-commentary youtube playthrough or sth (which i considered before and i’m sure it wouldve been fine but!!! this is more fun)

#iraattorney ok we’re back at it again at the krispy kreme. i forgot 2 mention last night that i think will powers is very cute. the women in aa make me contract terminal rabies and some of the men are, like, cute, like dogs, or moths, or a pencil case with oranges on it

#iraattorney
the judge: the witness is a child so please be nice
edgeworth: [bleeding from the mouth

#iraattorney edgeworth........ he’s growing on me

#iraattorney DONT

MY ACHILLES HEEL

#iraattorney ME NEXT PLEASE

#iraattorney I CANT DO THIS IM STILL PROCESSING APRIL. LEAVE ME ALONE

#iraattorney THIS IS BULLSHIT I WANTED TO VICARIOUSLY LIVE THROUGH THE DEE VASQUEZ BAD END. GUMSHOE YOYRE RUINING MY LIFE

AAAAAAA IM SCREAMING TO HIDE THIS BC I HAVE MUTUALS WHO MIGHT GET INTO IT AND I HAVE TO TUCK AWAY THE SPOILERS AAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA

#iracc please let there be a breakdown please please i need breakdown sprites i need a meltdown i need a five alarm nuclear tantrum pleas e i would like to see it may i please have a smidgen of breakdown m

#iraattorney EDGEWORTH IM SO FUCKING MAD AT YOU YOURE BETRAYINGNME YOURE RUINING EVERYTHING BUT ALSO IM VERY ENDEARED BY THIS TURN OF EVENTS

#iraattorney [grimly] edgeworth........ cute.

#iraattorney ARE WE ALL GOOD IN HERE???????

#iraattorney LIKE DOTN GET ME WRONG I KNEW ABT THIS DIALOGUE IVE SEEN IT POSTED A BILLION TIMES BUT I DIDNT THINK IT WAS LIKE, IN CH 3 OF THE FIRST GAME

#iraattorney oh. so it’s more like
edgeworth: thanks to you i have Feelings
phoenix: ....?!!!
edgeworth: yeah i FEEL like i want to THROW UP

don’t get me wrong this makes it better not worse

#iraattorney YOUREW ATTORNEYS WORKING IN THE SAME DISTRICT WHAT DO YOU EXPECT HIM TO DO?????? QUIT?????? [edgeworth voice] get out of my school

#iraattorney i’m starting turnabout goodbyes and all i have to say so far is i hope miles edgeworth goes to jail. it would serve him right. ive lost two wives to his incompetence

#iraattorney WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU

#iraattorney don’t do this. don’t make talking to edgeworth the only time phoenix is serious and competent. i do not wish to see it. i have enough on my plate

DONR DO THIS DONT MAKE PHOENIX CLOWN SHOES WRIGHT SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THIS MAN AND THEN SUDDENLY ITS ALL “Edgeworth. Tell me what happened.”

#iraattorney GET OUT OF MY SIGHT

#iraattorney DISGUSTING LITTLE SHOEBOX-SHAPED MAN I WILL NOT BE SWAYED. HUMAN BRICK OF CHICKEN LIVER PÂTÉ. I SPIT ON YOUR CRAVAT

#iraattorney are we keeping it professional here gumshoe. are we like keeping business and personal separate over here. are we all good

#iraattorney

#iraattorney EDGEY??????????

#iraattorney if this von karma guy keeps yelling at gumshoe i’m going to blue skidoo inside my switch and take him out into the parking lot

#iraattorney ok like i joke around abt him but i’m actually floored the further i get into this case what a fucking trauma nightmare this entire situation is for edgeworth. this is NIGHTMARISH

#iraattorney can we get this man a BLANKET. can we get him a little styrofoam cup of coffee perhaps

#iraattorney ACTUALLY ITS THIS JUDGE IM TAKING INTO THE PARKING LOT WHAT KIND OF COMPLETELY INCOMPREHENSIBLE INCOMPETENCE IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

#iraattorney i don’t know if this is the Intent but like von karma actually makes me genuinely mad. and this is coming from the chronic villainliker. but i mean he makes me, the person mechanically playing the video game, actually irritable and frustrated irl

#iraattorney like to a degree where it’s actually putting a dent in the fun i usually have during trials. i am just actually annoyed irl and want him done

#iraattorney LARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#iraattorney BABY PHOENIX WITH HIS FUCKED UP BABY EYEBROWS

also sorry abt every cap in this thread being a bad photograph of my switch screen it’s just too much trouble to transfer/post stuff from the device directly lol

#iraattorney WHY ARE YOU IN A SUIT AND BOWTIE YOURE IN THIRD GRADE

#iraattorney the parrot.

#iraattorney EDGEWORTH SHUT YOUR MOUTH FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE! GO HOME

#iraattorney CAN WE GET THIS MAN A BLANKET? CAN WE GET EDGEWORTH A BLANKET PLEASE? BAILIFF? SOMEONE??

#iraattorney

#iraattorney I GUESS THATS IT???? i thought there would b more cases after that but now i’m on the bonus one. i was actually thinking abt this the other day, i feel like games used to be shorter and expectations have just climbed + climbed

#iraattorney

#iraattorney

#iraattorney

#iraattorney ma’am please take that hat off. if you end up being an evil murderer how will i draw angst about you when you’re wearing an onigiri hat. please understand

#iraattorney WHY IS YOUR POTTED PLANT WEARING A CRAVAT

#iraattorney okay well actually i got through a good chunk of the day 1 trial and angel is falling flat for me. i’m just not feeling it. i was led astray by her flamboyance, and also her tits

#iraattorney i don’t mean she’s not a good character i just mean she is not whipping me into a frenzy. i feel like half the people keeping tabs on my aa journey are just waiting to see who whips me into a frenzy

#iraattorney oh im done playing for today but i did mean to mention that i feel like there’s a noticeable difference in difficulty between the main game cases and this bonus one! during the main game there were times when i was like, maybe not sure exactly When to produce a —

#iraattorney certain piece of evidence (bc of overlap in the facts, etc) but i never really felt completely lost and i never felt in danger of getting a game over; vs in the first bit of trial in rise from the ashes i was genuinely stuck once or twice and had to completely guess

#iraattorney that’s exciting to me bc it means i’ll have to slow down for this one instead of how i’ve been like, chewing through one trial per day lol

#iraattorney i forgot 2 mention i love that the day 1 crowd murmurs included “mommy, are prosecutors bad people?” which i understand is an effective way 2 hint 2 the player what the Real Motive is but why is ur 5 year old in the gallery observing the proceedings of a murder trial

#iraattorney mommy, in a carceral justice system where the concepts of punishment and vengeance are held above rehabilitation and truth, how can we ever feel confident that those in the position to enact said punishment truly have the interests of the people at h