Thread by @DrPetra

One of the best things about advice giving is sharing resources and connecting with others offering support.

One of the worst is competitiveness and obstruction over advice giving where people want to promote themselves more than a cause and thus sideline others.

#AgonyHour

It’s particularly acute when many raising awareness are doing so because of lived experiences. It’s frustrating when you feel your messages are not heard. And devastating when others in the same area you think will welcome you and amplify your work aim to block it and you instead

As an Agony Aunt I’m used to the competitiveness, cliqueyness and obstructions you find when working with charities and awareness groups. But folk new to this may be shocked to find barriers not collaboration. It extends to all areas of awareness raising and advice giving

So if you’re planning on raising any kind of awareness be prepared to get additional support for yourself and colleagues to navigate prickly spaces.
If you’re raising awareness it needs to be a genuine commitment to a cause, not a platform just to showcase you and your work

I spend a large amount of time pushing information that others could share but they won’t because it’s not “their brand”. Or navigating infighting I’ve no idea about, such as promoting one charity only to find another is now obstructive because they’ve got a beef with one another

If your job is to share information, which mine is, so long as that information is accurate and isn’t harmful then it needs passing on. It should not be some endless popularity contest where certain issues, organisations and individuals get the attention at the expense of others.

These situations are self perpetuating. If a charity is rude to me because they feel I promoted a rival it makes me less likely to share their work.

I will do so because the end goal is getting information out there and that’s more important. Still sucks

Same with individuals who you know are doing similar work but you’ll spot the ones who are generous with resources and the ones who are out for themselves. All of them have stuff a wider audience needs but sharing the work of someone who isn’t collegiate feels icky.

I know this is all down to diminishing funds, overburdened organisations/individuals, and people working through trauma. There are reasons but it doesn’t make obstructive, selfish or sabotaging behaviour acceptable.

But it’s extremely dispiriting to watch individuals and organisations twist themselves into a pretzel rather than promote anyone other than themselves or favoured organisations when collectively we need to be passing on as much information and advice as possible

I have three reasons for not sharing information/promoting organisations
1. I didn’t know about them
2. I forgot
3. They’re promoting harmful practices

1 and 2 are easily addressed and 3 is and always has been non-negotiable

I do often share stuff through gritted teeth because while the individual/organisation producing it isn’t collegiate the info/advice they have will help others. It’s way more pleasant and I think advice feels more authentic when there’s mutual respect