Thread by @dunkhippo33

1) I want to talk about investor kindness in the startup ecosystem.

Personal story - I pitched an investor for my co yrs ago:

Me: "So what do you think?"

Him: "I don't want to say the wrong thing & call you a meek Asian woman, but I question how you'll lead a team of 100 ppl"

2) Needless to say, I was completely shocked that someone in this day and age would say something like that. Outloud. In Silicon Valley.

I was so stunned that I was wondering whether I had actually heard that correctly and if I was actually in a bad dream?

3) But it was in fact reality.

My next thought was that I needed to come up with a response really good and really quickly to respond with otherwise I would be a "meek Asian woman"!

4) I've often reflected back on that moment. The first couple years after this incident, I tried to shove this out of my head.

I only told other founders about it. I was completely embarrassed. Even though I knew that it was he who was in the wrong, I felt like I was inferior.

5) I went through cycles of thought where I've felt angry, embarrassed, and also gratitude. Yes gratitude.

Now that we are many yrs past this, in retrospect, this investor gave me a gift in a weird way.

6) He gave me a glimpse into what either other ppl were thinking consciously or unconsciously.

And that was great feedback. In subsequent mtgs I thought I need to do everything I can to combat the notion that I'm meek.

7) So I sat up in my chair more. Made better eye contact. Brought more energy to the table. Was more dynamic. Was louder.

I consciously did all of those things better. And guess what? I started closing money.

8) The reality is we do not live in a meritocracy. Some ppl are naturally more charismatic or have traits that society favors - rightly or wrongly.

We do what we can as founders to give ourselves the best shot. The first step is in getting feedback to optimize our chances.

9) For this reason, this is why @HustleFundVC we *always* give direct and transparent feedback to prospective founders and portfolio founders.

But there are right and wrong ways to give feedback.

10) A wrong way to give feedback is like what I just described happened to me. Eventually I read between the lines around what I needed to do to optimize my fundraise, but the delivery of that feedback was not great.

Constructive feedback is what we strive for @HustleFundVC .

11) If I were to rewind and sit in that investor's shoes, I would have said, "I'm still deciding whether or not to invest. I just want to give you some quick feedback on your pitch -- I think you should make eye contact and bring more energy to the table. But that's just my $0.02

12) Constructive feedback is tactical - something ppl can mull on and iterate on. Startups are all about iteration -- iteration of people and ideas.

I believe no one is fixed in their skills or growth. No idea is fixed in its model.

13) And that is what I believe investor kindness is. It's not writing a check in everyone - the reality is that's not possible.

But investors can give constructive feedback to try to make ppl & cos better. Investors may be wrong, but constructive feedback comes from a good place

14) But all too often, from my own experience in pitching, feedback isn't constructive.

Moreover, it's not helpful when ppl are only 1/2 paying attention while reading their phone during mtgs. Or checking their SNOW price.

Kindness is also respect.

15) Many ppl ask me why I wanted to become a VC. I didn't & still don't see myself as such.

@HustleFundVC is a co. We want to empower entrepreneurs who hustle (as defined by executing w/ speed) with resources & knowledge.

16) We cannot fund all. But we can be respectful & can provide knowledge & some direct feedback. That is what I think is investor-kindness.

No founder should have to exp what I faced. What I love about new investors entering the ecosystem is the kindness bar increases.