1/ I'm nearly 50, I've had to reckon with people I admired, even mentors, who've turned out to be hiding terrible actions and/or revealed themselves to hate me & what I stand for.
It's like death: it feels terrible, but it's an expected part of a broadly lived life.
2/ The way to deal with the sorrow of losing a mentor - either through them changing, you changing, or you finding out new information - is to recognize that the relationship was based on a mutual acceptance of shared ethics & what you shared is now broken.
3/ But I've seen that many enablers of abuse can't accept they were ever wrong (about anything)
Cognitive dissonance is VERY powerful. It's an anxiety disorder IMO & it comes from a lack of self-respect
To be healthy & righteous, you must accept the idea that you can be flawed!
4/ As a distant spiritual advisor for whoever needs it, I implore people to have a system of error-checking. You must have someone who not only can tell you that you're wrong, but that you'll listen & change.
5/ If you have no plan for accepting criticism, then you cannot plausibly change yourself for the better
Being stubborn to protect your ego? Then you may find yourself wearing a RedHat and laughing at people crying in pain and fear
6/ I've said this many times, but it's crucial now in #Tishrei 5781, when the whole world lies in the balance: if you change ethics when it hurts you, you were never ethical.
Bravery means withstanding the pain your ethics force upon you.
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