“And just like my fashion decisions might vary from circumstance to circumstance, my language decisions do too.”
——-
As a child, I made the choice to legally change my name from Pragya to Paula.
Often, well-intentioned white people will say “that’s a shame!”
(Thread)👇🏽 /1
Their argument is: “that’s a shame, you should keep your culture, you should keep your identity.”
It took me 36 years to find the words to express how I’ve always felt: The real “shame” is that they think it’s appropriate to tell me how to identify, how to relate, who to be. /2
It’s easy for somebody else to dictate how you “should” feel, think, and behave, when they are not the ones who have to live with the daily consequences.
Same holds true for people who “should” your body, appearance, education, career, marriage, etc.
/3
FWIW, the Nepalese pronunciation of my last name is “Pun-thhh,” but when I’m around Americans, I pronounce my own last name as “Pant” (like a pair of pants) because it makes my life easier and gives me a sense of social integration and belonging.
When well-meaning people ... /4
... tell me that they want to pronounce my last name the “correct” way, I hear the message that the way I’ve chosen to say *my own name* is incorrect.
Just as my fashion and food choices change as I toggle between cultures, so, too, does my preferred pronunciation. /5
To insist that I “should” maintain one name, or one pronunciation, across cultures, is to deride my ability/desire to code switch.
No, I’m not losing my identity when I adapt.
No, one is not “more correct” than the other.
I live in both worlds. Don’t box me into one.
/end
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