Thread by @Richmond_Lee

In the American South, this very important social function is provided by Waffle House. All of them.

We
Allow
Fist
Fights
Literally
Everyday

That's their motto!

I saw a man get murdered at a Waffle House. 6 shots point blank while he was getting out of his car in the parking lot. I was eating by the window, no more than 12 feet away. This is not a joke. I'll never forget it.

Before I realized it, my body had already leapt into action. Literally. My immediate reaction was to jump over the table and make a bee-line to the bathroom. I shouted for my friends to follow.

I remember other people scrambling to get away from the window. But it wasn't complete chaos. Some people actually kept eating! This was routine to them!

One guy, clearly high out of his mind actually went up to the window, spread his arms and said "What? What? You gonna shoot me?" I remember thinking "dude stop, I don't want to see you get blown away too!"

I remember counting the 6 shots and hoping the killer had emptied his clip in a heated flurry. But there was also a very good chance his gun still held several more bullets. Or maybe he had more than one gun.

I recall hoping that it was just a targeted killing. Or a crime of passion. That it wasn't a crazy mass shooter. I started making plans on what to do if the killer continued shooting inside the Waffle House.

I remember thinking "OK, if I hear more screams from outside the bathroom, if the guy comes in to kill more people I'll climb up this bathroom stall and drop on him when he comes in. He probably won't expect that."

I know that sounds ridiculous, but extreme situations often call for extreme measures. If your life is in danger you gotta think fast and be ready to act. Don't freeze up! Thankfully it didn't come to any of that. It was a targeted killing and the killer quickly fled the site.

I remember later, after the cops arrived, the guy who had boldly spread his arms and dared the killer to shoot him was now in tears. Just bubbling. I guess it hit him pretty hard that he almost threw away his life just to look cool for a moment.

I've lead a relatively privileged life in America. Mostly middle class, though I've been fortunate enough to know people from all walks of life. I can say without hesitation that America is exactly as violent as everyone thinks it is.

During my time in America I've been robbed at gunpoint. Car jacked. I've seen a man shot dead at Waffle House. My brother had a friend in high school who was shot in the back by a cop over a dine and dash. Killed over pancakes at iHop.

If you're surprised by the state of America in 2020, please know, it's always been this bad. But people are speaking up now. This isn't some unlucky year, the internet isn't rotting our brains, this is the result of decades, centuries of terrible policies coming to a head.

Anyway, WAFFLE HOUSE. Amirite??



(Stay safe out there everyone!)