Thread by @ramkid

'All you need is one thing, dude. One thing that you can do better than anybody else in the world. And you're sorted', he said taking a long drag. I could tell it was good weed. It reminded me of the smell that lingered around the vestibules of Ganga Kaveri Express years ago. +

'Give me an example', I said. 'There's a guy', he continued, 'who only drives his car in reverse gear. Even in heavy traffic. That's his thing. TV channels from around the world come to shoot him.' +

'That's rubbish,' I said, 'He can't get rich doing that.' 'Oh, you want to get rich?', he murmured, 'There's a guy who can hurl a ball extremely fast and accurately at the base of three sticks placed some 20 yards away. He's making lots of money.' +

'Then there's this woman who lipsynchs other's words brilliantly. That's all she has. That's her golden ticket. There's another guy who can't act at all, but can make women swoon with a tilt of his head. That's his thing. You just have to find yours.' +

'Listen, this is not helping. I don't have any special talents', I said, 'I'm not athletic. I have all the charm of a deflated helium balloon. I can't sing or act. I can't cook. I reduce the average IQ of any group I join.' +

'Hmmm', he hmmmed. 'Everybody has a thing. If you look hard enough, you'll find it. There's a woman I met whose thing was that cats listened to her. She's in great demand among wealthy people with feline pets that need to be given tablets.' +

'That's rather specialised' , I told my serene but stoned life coach. 'I could spend a lifetime searching and not find my thing.' He started giggling. Even spiritual people can be infantile. +

'That's ok' , he said, 'You don't have to find it. You can spend your whole life looking. Like that guy in that U2 song.' He was tripping, so I let him go on. 'If you want to go somewhere and can't find your car keys, there's no problem if you say, 'Screw it, I'll stay home.' +

I had to admit that sounded pretty cool to me. Maybe the secondary smoking was making me happy. Suddenly I remembered I did have a thing. Excited, I asked my tattooed mentor, 'Hey, I can blow my snot right across the room. Does that count for anything?' +

He stroked his beard and looked at me with sad eyes. 'I have never in my whole life given up entirely on somebody. Even if there's a single drop of water in a glass, I don't think of it as empty. But you, my friend, have opened my eyes. You are a complete moron.'
ANTHE.