THE COMPLETE HISTORY OF THE ROOM RATER PINEAPPLE
A Thread For The Benefit Of The Public
Please feel free to post it any time someone asks "What's with all the pineapples?"
🍍😀🍍
IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE PANDEMIC. Suddenly everyone on TV was remote, usually live in their own homes.
It took about five minutes for us to start noticing their furniture and decor...and since we were all quarantined, we had nothing else to keep us busy.
Room Rater launched on April 11, 2020. Some of the early critiques were tough, but subjects always could earn bonuses for non-decor-related factors...and the opposite was also true.
Audiences anxious for more immediately began submitting photos and making suggestions
The first subjects to dispute their ratings were Cynthia McFadden and Jane Mayer; both were successful
J.Heil's kitchen received its first rating on April 14. Note the bias in favor of plants, which became a hallmark of the ratings, and the attention paid to the fruit bowl.
Steve Schmidt came on the scene a bit later, due to Room Rater's missing photo ops. Steve posted his own, however, and they rated high.
Meanwhile, Heilemann's kitchen reappeared. Perhaps cued by the comment that the oranges helped, he had expanded a bit. Interest was high, and he has time to reply to comments, which helped. Photos of his dogs foreshadowed ratings to come.
More comments about JHeil's kitchen. Again, you have to remember this was during the initial lockdown, when we weren't used to having time on our hands 😀
<intermission>
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
#ThingsKremlinBotsSay
Now, what were we talking about? Ah yes. Nascent rivalry among regulars Claire McCaskill and JHeil; the pineapple is suggested.
The topic of food intruded into the comments on other rated rooms, as often happens on the Internet
JHeil's fruit received its own post, but cake interest also remained strong
April 21st
April 22nd. The fruit is becoming increasingly soigne
April 23rd. Pomegranates are upstaged by dog during an appearance on 'Deadline: White House'
April 28th. Schmidt tries a new setup.
April 29th
There was a certain amount of egging on
Head-to-head comparison. A selection of the comments in next tweet.
[If you're starting to wish we would hurry up and get to the pineapples, you're not alone. But you're not reading the entire timeline of this account that tweets even more than I do, so there's that 😀]
May 5th
May 6th
Earlier the same day...
At this point I'm just screenshotting the saga, step by step, and hoping the pineapple comes along soon
From the comments on the above tweet...I do believe I see a PINEAPPLE! 🍍
The lovely Claire McCaskill weighs in on the competition
In reply to the above:
As a rule, I believe men are more _attached_ to their _orchids_, if you know what I mean 😛
May 11th was the day the whole thing reached a sort of critical mass
Of course there were many comments
...and more comments
...and photochops...
😂
This idea would prove to have legs
These were in reply to the rating above 😀
"Au contraire" means "to the contrary," and Room Rater ends by saying "Thank you, you are too kind."
Enthusiasts enthused...
...analysts analyzed...
and amateur raters rated...which is how we got here in the first place 😀
May 14th: the competition gives rise to merchandise
On May 15, 2020, the rivalry intensified:
And this got more than 1500 replies:
Even actual magazines had nothing better to do during quarantine
newyorker.com/magazine/2020/…
ZOMG U GUISE WE'RE FAMOUS
May 18th: Heilemann versus Schmidt
Heilemann's fans were unequivocal:
Schmidt's fans were no less firm than he is:
The next day, Schmidt's pineapple was just visible, but still there...
...and if you thought that was a subtle taunt, you were right. Here, Schmidt tries out his Bond-villain voice
By the time Schmidt went on air that evening, the pineapple was in place behind him
As if butter (and flour and sugar) wouldn't melt in her mouth, competitor Claire McCaskill shares her observations on how competitive others are 😀
The fruit business was boosted all over America, not just near the Schmidt and Heilemann households
Claire was, of course, not wrong about the guys
There's no better way to end than with Paul Rudd.
Here's his rating from April 26th. You'll notice there's no pineapple. But he wasn't done. Just one more tweet and we'll be finished here, as the pineapple reaches its zenith of fame.
🍍💚😷 THE END 😷💚🍍
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