We all know about carcinization: shelled creatures with many legs tend to evolve into crabs.
But have you heard of mustelification?
It's a phenomenon where carnivorans develop slender bodies, short legs and small triangular heads.
In other words, they evolve into weasels.
True weasels belong to the family Mustelidae, which includes mink, ferrets, stoats, martens, polecats, and tayra, as well as less weaselly species like badgers, otters and wolverines.
Typical Mustelidae species, left to right:
Common weasel (Mustela nivalis)
Marbled polecat (Vormela peregusna)
Pine marten (Martes martes)
Tayra (Eira barbara)
Species from several non-mustelid families have also converged on weasel-like anatomy and behaviour.
Despite appearances, the Altai weasel (Mustela altaica, left) is more closely related to walruses and bears than it is to the Slender mongoose (Galerella sanguinea, right).
Here are some examples of mustelification in other taxonomic families (left to right):
Red vontsira (Eupleridae, Galidia elegans)
Banded linsang (Prionodontidae, Prionodon linsang)
Spotted genet (Viverridae, Genetta maculata)
Yellow mongoose (Herpestidae, Cynictis penicillata)
Musteliforms tend to be adept hunters and cunning opportunists, sneaking into burrows and nests to steal eggs and young.
The word 'ferret' derives from the latin 'furittum', meaning "little thief".
Agile, flexible bodies and short powerful jaws also allow musteliforms to tackle much larger prey.
Unlike carcinization, mustelification is not merely an example of convergent evolution - different species independently discovering the same optimal form.
All modern carnivorans descend from species of Miacis, a genus of extinct mammals that lived 30-60 million years ago.
Miacis were about 30cm long, with "low skulls, long slender bodies, long tails and short legs".
The original carnivoran, ancestor to every cat, dog, bear, seal, otter and fox was, in fact, a weasel.
Mustelification is the preservation and rediscovery of an ancient platonic form. Not stepping forward blindly into an alien future, but embracing a time-honored tradition.
Reject crab. Retvrn to weasel.
RETVRN
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