Thread by @owenbroadcast

kind of on a pause over here like i said before but u know i have to post since its in my blood so just gonna keep things in this thread until my full triumphant return

🚛

the “experts” have finally pushed me too far

about to see owenius (tiny owen) on the babyscan screen. i have some to refer to this experience as the natalophony. not sure if they will adopt this term.

interesting linguistic phenomenon related to pregnancy baby stuff is that whenever one needs to refer to the baby’s sex, everyone, universally, uses the term gender. this isnt ideological, its an instinctual recoiling from combining the words “sex” and “baby”. everyone does this.

theoretically these are the last moments wherein i do not know if this creature is boy or girl. very surprisingly, i truly dont feel strongly either way. figured id really want it to go one way or the other but im totally neutral.

been surrounded by women for the last few years so thematically it would make more sense if its a girl. people ask what i think it is, i say that if my life were a story (which it is, mythopoetic symbolic life analysis mindset) it would make more sense if it were a girl.

i am going to make a large image of the saint that tamed the dragon and yoked it to harvest wheat to hang in the kids room. i will implant this deep into its tiny tiny brain

launching owen cyclops lifestyle brand to cover some baby expenses. stylesheet:

shoes: two fish
home: partially submerged hut by the lake with dial up internet
activities: standing nose deep in the water at sunrise and sunset dispensing advice to local teenagers and lost hikers

the rift in the lake dwelling community between people that wear two fish strapped to their feet like sandals vs people who put their feet into the fish’s mouth as though it were a sneaker or boot is, potentially, unhealable

UPDATE

intermission: mall esoterica

indeed

i moved from the baptist county to the catholic county. now there are virgin mary sculptures on lawns and generally standing around. i am attempting to train my dog to instinctually sit in front of, looking at, the larger ones, instead of just passing them by.

getting coffee (rare, its always burnt at “places”, wife wanted “a muffin” [also rare, pregnancy madness takes hold]), a cashieress asks where i moved from, remarks “its more friendly here”. “ha yeah i guess”, i say. “maybe its the catholic baptist thing”, she says, laughing. mfw

shju buy one of these glash coffee maykers, its chaped like an hourglass wish a french name, ju obtain ah lineen filter, ok, this rooins your life you see because, now shu can no longer enjoy zis thing that chu loved, ze coffee, jish ruins yoor ability to publicly consume coffee

before zis fancy coffee mechanishm you had no problem consuming coffee at theesh normal places wish normal people. it was quite fun, shu liked it but now wonsh you have bin eshposed to this coffee maker u only taste the burnt nayshur of the coffee, you rooin thish thing you loved

thees is a ideeology of soshial isholation manifesting in ze coffee, reeally, [sniff] you were better off een ignorance, drinking ze burnt coffee from zeez little payper cups knoweeng nothing about sush refined mechanishms but ju rooined it wish your deezire for progress, you did

okay i, really i completely disagree, okay. when i see man, refining himself and his tools, with some higher ideal in mind, really, thats what civilization is all about. you cant shrink away from that. we have to pursue greatness. when you shrink away from that bad things happen.

i dont think any of us really, truly, want to live in a world where we just accept drinking the burnt coffee because its convenient. okay. thats just fear talking. we want to live in a world where we pursue greatness - no matter the cost. okay. theres going to be come costs there

so yes, alright, maybe now you cant enjoy the coffee in the paper cups with ur friend. i get it. thats rough okay. i get it. ive been there. but at the end of the day, u look in the mirror, you know that you didnt shrink away from your duty, and that, thats better than the coffee

i know i can google it but as im moving and revamping my op im wondering if i should get a substack, i trust you guys more than normal internet, whats the deal, ive never looked at it