John Bull Profile picture
Historian. Streamer. Tech Strategist. Editor of @lonrec. Servant of Napoleon. Orient fan. @garius@mastodon.me.uk. Business: business@longformist.co.uk

Jul 8, 2021, 16 tweets

Righto.

This is such a niche hire, and I am fucking HERE for it.

Benedict Cummerbatch. Suuuure, kid. Suuuuure.

How to give your kid actual Christmas nightmares.

"No, I said I'm Craig from Dundee."

<error. system is corrupt>

Okay, this one has actually broken me.

Every single dude on a dating app.

"and do you get much work?"

Dad no.

Oh mate.

"Siri, show me a ninja turtle with a meth habit"

"You're meant to be applying for jobs, Alan."

"I AM, MOM."

WOLF LOOKALIKES

"Hey! Hey! Can you take your headphones off for a second? Yeah hi. I know I'm just random wolf in the woods but has anyone ever told you you'd look great if you smiled?"

[citation needed]

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