Thread by @incorrect_mtg

Fine, I'll TRY to do this! Rules in the thread below 👇 #MTG

4 cards will be picked for each set, following these categories:
Cool - The heavy metal flavor texts, boasting and war cries!
Funny - Puns and jokes galore!
Worldbuilding - The ones that build on lore and named characters
Emotional - Horror, tragedy, tears and screams.

Reprint sets will be ignored because I don't want to parse through them all in the chance that a specific card has new flavor text. If a card that was picked for an older set is reprinted, it can't win again unless the flavor text is new.

Also i'll ignore literary quotes

Alpha/Beta/Unlimited:
Cool - Black Knight
Funny - Goblin Balloon Brigade
Worldbuilding - Llanowar Elves
Emotional - Goblin King #MTG

Antiquities (Arabian Nights is ALL real world references, it was ignored)
Cool - Colossus of Sardia
Funny - Urza's Chalice (this is not a very funny set, sue me)
Worldbuilding - Strip Mine
Emotional - Argothian Treefolk #MTG

Legends
Cool - Flash Counter
Funny - Crimson Kobolds
Worldbuilding - Beasts of Bogardan
Emotional - Lost Soul #MTG

The Dark
Cool - Blood of the Martyr
Funny - Goblin Digging Team
Worldbuilding - Inferno
Emotional - The Fallen #MTG

Fallen Empires
Cool - Vodalian Soldiers
Funny - Orcish Spy
Worldbuilding - Order of the Ebon Hand (but really the whole damn set)
Emotional - Dwarven Soldier #MTG

Ice Age
Cool - Icequake
Funny - Incinerate
Worldbuilding - Fyndhorn Elves
Emotional - Legions of Lim-Dûl #MTG

Homelands
Cool - Ihsan's Shade
Funny - Cemetery Gate
Worldbuilding - Apocalypse Chime
Emotional - Caste Sengir (I guess? Not a lot of good tragedy or horror in the flavor text for this set IMO) #MTG

Alliances
Cool - Pillage
Funny - Mystic Compass
Worldbuilding - Phyrexian Boon
Emotional - Stetch of Decay #MTG

Mirage
Cool - Lightning Reflexes
Funny - Elixir of Vitality
Worldbuilding - Teremko Griffin
Emotional - Reign of Terror #MTG

Visions
Cool - Shrieking Drake
Funny - Chronatog
Worldbuilding - Nekrataal
Emotional - Squandered Resources #MTG

Portal
Cool - Blaze
Funny - Snapping Drake
Worldbuilding - (None, Portal has no lore)
Emotional - Rain of Tears #MTG

Weatherlight
Cool - Thran Forge
Funny - Null Rod
Worldbuilding - Shattered Crypt
Emotional - Tendrils of Despair #MTG

Tempest
Cool - Dream Cache
Funny - Mogg Fanatic
Worldbuilding - Winds of Rath
Emotional - Hero's Resolve #MTG

Stronghold
Cool - Awakening
Funny - Fling
Worldbuilding - Sliver Queen
Emotional - Youthful Knight #MTG

Exodus
Cool - Standing Troops
Funny - Nausea
Worldbuilding - Equilibrium
Emotional - Bequeathal #MTG

Portal Second Age
Ignoring my own rules for the sake of the Goblin cycle! #MTG

Unglued

Look, they're all in the funny category, ok? #MTG

Urza's Saga
Cool - Fecundity
Funny - Sneak Attack
Worldbuilding - Stroke of Genius
Emotional - Fire Ants (horror aaaaaaaaaaaaaa) #MTG

Urza's Legacy 1/2
Cool - Rancor
Funny - Levitation
Emotional - Beast of Burden #MTG

Urza's Legacy 2/2
Worldbuilding - The Phyrexian cycle #MTG

Urza's Destiny
Cool - Phyrexian Negator
Funny - Carnival of Souls
Worldbuilding - Extruder
Emotional - Master Healer #MTG

Mercadian Masques
Cool - Ignoble Soldier
Funny - Rishadan Footpad
Worldbuilding - Magistrate's Veto
Emotional - Moment of Silence #MTG

Nemesis
Cool - Flowstone Overseer
Funny - Plague Witch
Worldbuilding Dominate
Emotional - Fanatical Devotion #MTG

Prophecy
Cool - Rhystic Study
Funny - Pygmy Razorback
Worldbuilding - The "Keld Triumphant" Cycle
Emotional - Brutal Supression #MTG

Invasion
Cool - Empress Galina
Funny - Undermine
Worldbuilding - Strength of Unity
Emotional - Obliterate #MTG

Planeshift
Cool - Aura Blast
Funny - Gainsay
Worldbuilding - Urza's Guilt
Emotional - Ertai's Trickery #MTG

Apocalypse
Cool - Symbiotic Deployment
Funny - Diversionary Tactics
Worldbuilding - Vindicate
Emotional - Martyrs' Tomb #MTG

Odyssey
Cool - Battle of Wits
Funny - Patrol Hound
Worldbuilding - Mirari
Emotional - Aven Smokeweaver #MTG

Torment
Cool - Accelerate
Funny - Cabal Surgeon
Worldbuilding - Cabal Coffers
Emotional - False Memories (Horror) #MTG

Judgement
Cool - The Advocate Cycle
Funny - Defy Gravity
Worldbuilding - Mirari's Wake
Emotional - Balthor the Defiled #MTG

Onslaught
Cool - The Crown Cycle
Funny - Catapult Master
Worldbuilding - Explosive Vegetation
Emotional - Nova Cleric #MTG

Legions
Cool - Glowrider
Funny - Enormous Baloth
Worldbuilding - Blade Sliver
Emotional - Defiant Elf #MTG

Scourge
Cool - Sliver Overlord
Funny - Goblin War Strike
Worldbuilding - Upwelling
Emotional - Misguided Rage #MTG

I've been avoiding core sets due to the lack material, but I think we've reached critical mass now, so let's do a big post, 4 of each category, for 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th edition!
Cool:
Truce (5th Edition)
Phyrexian Hulk (7th Edition)
Boil (8th Edition)
Pacifism (7th Edition)

Funny:
Flying Carpet (7th Edition)
Sizzle (8th Edition)
Might of Oaks (7th Edition)
Derelor (5th Edition) #MTG

Worldbuilding:
Wrath of Marit Lage (8th Edition)
Llanowar Elves (7th Edition)
Ornithopter (5th Edition)
Gobling King (5th Edition) #MTG

Emotional/Horror:
Regeneration (7th Edition)
Abyssal Horror (7th Edition)
Icatian Scout (5th Edition)
Grafted Skullcap (7th Edition) #MTG

Mirrodin
Cool - Atog
Funny - Bottle Gnomes
Worldbuilding - The Myr Dork Cycle
Emotional - Tel-Jilad Exile #MTG

Darksteel
Cool - Æther Snap
Funny - Goblin Archaeologist
Worldbuilding - Soulscour
Emotional - Slobad, Goblin Tinkerer (I'm making @Spice8Rack proud) #MTG

@Spice8Rack Fifth Dawn
Cool - Eternal Witness
Cool 2 (for lack of funny options) - Wayfarer's Bauble
Worldbuilding - Channel the Suns
Emotional - Door to Nothingness (Horror) #MTG

@Spice8Rack Champions of Kamigawa 1/2
Cool - Reach Through Mists
Funny - Akki Underminer
Worldbuilding - Unnatural Speed
Emotional - Wandering Ones #MTG

@Spice8Rack Champions of Kamigawa 2/2
Cool - Mana Seism
Funny - Hold the Line
Worldbuilding - Eiganjo Castle
Emotional - Kami of Fire's Roar #MTG

Unhinged

Once again, they're all in the funny category #MTG

Betrayers of Kamigawa 1/2
Cool - Kitsune Palliator
Funny - Ishi-Ishi, Akki Crackshot
Worldbuilding - Eiganjo Castle
Emotional - Yomiji, Who Bars the Way #MTG

Betrayers of Kamigawa 2/2
Cool - Mirror Gallery
Worldbuilding - That Which Was Taken
Emotional - Split-Tail Miko
Emotional - Three Tragedies

Extra Emotional one because Kamigawa block is very depressing and not very funny #MTG

Saviors of Kamigawa 1/2
Cool - Gaze of Adamaro
Funny - Akki Underling
Worldbuilding - Aether Shockwave
Emotional - Ideas Unbound #MTG

Saviors of Kamigawa 2/2
Cool - Hail of Arrows
Cool - One with Nothing
Worldbuilding - Michiko Konda, Truth Seeker
Worldbuilding - Reki, the History of Kamigawa #MTG

9th Edition
Cool - Serra's Blessing
Funny - Temporal Adept
Worldbuilding - Blackmail
Emotional - Coercion #MTG

Ravnica: City of Guilds
Cool - Vigor Mortis
Funny - Fiery Conclusion
Worldbuilding - Duskmantle, House of Shadow
Emotional - Clinging Darkness #MTG

Guildpact
Cool - Infiltrator's Magemark
Funny - Agent of Masks
Worldbuilding - Orzhova, the Church of Deals
Emotional - Repeal (Horror) #MTG

Dissension
Cool - Psychic Possession
Funny - Gobhobbler Rats
Worldbuilding - Prahv, Spires of Order
Emotional - Ghost Quarter #MTG

Coldsnap
Cool - Sun's Bounty
Funny - Goblin Furrier
Worldbuilding - Tamanoa
Emotional - Arcum Dagsson #MTG

Time Spiral
Cool - D'Avenant Healer
Funny - Academy Ruins
Worldbuilding - Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir
Emotional - Chromatic Star #MTG

Planar Chaos
Cool - Seal of Primordium
Funny - Ovinize
Worldbuilding - Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth
Emotional - Wistful Thinking #MTG

Future Sight
Cool - Pact of Negation
Funny - Foresee
Worldbuilding - Char-Rumbler
Emotional - Minion's Murmurs #MTG

10th Edition
Cool - Blanchwood Armor
Funny - Manabarbs
Worldbuilding - Ascendant Evincar
Emotional - Agonizing Memories #MTG

Lorwyn
Cool - Ego Erasure
Funny - Ponder
Worldbuilding - Exiled Boggart
Emotional - Kithkin Greatheart #MTG

The next set in the list is a Duel Deck and there isn't enough new flavor texts in it to justify adding to the list... so I'll check ALL of the Duel Decks and pick 3 cards for each category!
Duel Decks Cool:
Mystic Monastery (DDN)
Nomad Outpost (DDN)
Deep Analysis (DDH) #MTG

Duel Decks Funny:
Goblin Electromancer (DDJ)
Mortify (DDK)
Incinerate (DD2) #MTG

Duel Decks Worldbuilding:
Seal of Fire (DD2)
Ambition's Cost (DDR)
Explore (DDO) #MTG

Emotional:
Temple of the False God (DDO)
Swords to Plowshares (DDF)
Narrow Escape (DDE) #MTG

Morningtide
Cool - Boldwyr Intimidator
Funny - Mothdust Changeling
Worldbuilding - Bitterblossom
Emotional - Disperse (Horror) #MTG

Shadowmoor
Cool - Ashenmoor Cohort
Funny - Somnomancer
Worldbuilding - Everlasting Torment
Emotional - Rosheen Meanderer #MTG

Eventide
Cool - Cinder Pyromancer
Funny - Snakeform
Worldbuilding - Endure
Emotional - Wistful Selkie #MTG

Next set in the list would be From the Vault: Dragons... and if I put all From the Vault's together I got just enough for one of these so...
Cool - Bogardan Hellkite (DRB)
Funny - Goblin Lackey (V09)
Worldbuilding - Nicol Bolas (DRB)
Emotional - Glissa, the Traitor (V16) #MTG

Shards of Alara
Cool - Goblin Deathraiders
Funny - Ad Nauseam
Worldbuilding - The Herald Cycle
Emotional - Cunning Lethemancer (Horror) #MTG

Conflux
Cool - Progenitus
Funny - Grixis Illusionist
Worldbuilding - Fusion Elemental
Emotional - Unstable Frontier #MTG

Alara Reborn
Cool - Nemesis of Reason
Funny - Dragon Appeasement
Worldbuilding - Sojourner cycle (the ones with flavor text)
Emotional - Aven Mimeomancer #MTG

Magic 2010
Nothing particularly good on the worldbuilding front, so...
Cool - Goblin Chieftain
Funny - Disentomb
Funny - Canyon Minotaur
Emotional - Lightning Bolt (in a meta way) #MTG

Zendikar
Cool - Scythe Tigee
Funny - Kor Hookmaster
Worldbuilding - Eldrazi Monument
Emotional - Noble Vestige #MTG

Worldwake
Cool - Death's Shadow
Funny - Dread Statuary
Worldbuilding - Nature's Claim
Emotional - Eye of Ugin (Foreshadowing!) #MTG

Rise of the Eldrazi
This set has SO MANY great flavor texts, it'll have 2 tweets for it... and I'll cut worldbuilding to give the rest of the categories even more space.
Cool - Drana, Kalastria Bloodchief
Cool - Pestilence Demon
Funny - Narcolepsy
Funny - Arrogant Bloodlord #MTG

Rise of the Eldrazi 2/2
Emotional:
Battle-Rattle Shaman
Time of Heroes
Soul's Attendant
Near-Death Experience

Magic 2011
Cool - Sacred Wolf
Funny - Barony Vampire
Worldbuilding - Armored Cancrix
Emotional - Quag Sickness (Horror) #MTG

Scars of Mirrodin
Cool - Mox Opal
Funny - Goblin Gaveleer
Worldbuilding - Steady Progress
Emotional - Loxodon Wayfarer #MTG

Mirrodin Besieged
Cool - Darksteel Plate
Funny - Quicksilver Geyser
Worldbuilding - Phyrexian Rager
Emotional - Ogre Resister #MTG

New Phyrexia
Cool - Priest of Urabrask
Worldbuilding - Urabrask the Hidden
Emotional - Darksteel Relic
Emotional - War Report #MTG

Today's set is Commander 2011. So I'll get every commander set up to C19 and pick 3 for each category!
Cool:
Darksteel Mutation
Duelist's Heritage
Vedalken Humiliator #MTG

Commander (CMD-C19)
Funny
Sudden Substitution
Ludevic, Necro-Alchemist
Treasure Nabber #MTG

Commander (CMD-C19)
Worldbuilding
Gerrard, Weatherlight Hero
Windgrace's Judgment
Scrap Mastery #MTG

Commander (CMD-C19)
Emotional
Death by Dragons
Cliffside Rescuer
Feldon of the Third Path #MTG

Magic 2012
Cool - Giant Spider (in a meta kind of way)
Funny - Goblin Grenade
Funny - Distress
Worldbuilding - Chandra's Outrage #MTG

Innistrad
Cool - Elder Cathar
Funny - Voiceless Spirit
Worldbuilding - Village Cannibals
Emotional - Victim of the Night (Horror) #MTG

Dark Ascension
Cool - Thraben Heretic
Funny - Wild Hunger
Worldbuilding - Vault of the Archangel
Emotional - Loyal Cathar // Unhallowed Cathar #MTG

Avacyn Restored
Cool - Angel's Mercy
Funny - Aggravate
Worldbuilding - Joint Assault
Emotional - Latch Seeker #MTG

Magic 2013
Cool - Worldfire
Cool - Door to Nothingness
Funny - Pillarfield Ox
Emotional - Angel's Mercy #MTG

Return to Ravnica
Cool - Rest in Peace
Funny - Inspiration
Worldbuilding - The Guildgates
Emotional - Mind Rot (Horror) #MTG

Gatecrash
Cool - Merciless Eviction
Funny - Naturalize
Worldbuilding - The Guildgates... again
Emotional - Predator's Rapport #MTG

Dragon's Maze
Cool - Korozda Gorgon
Funny - Clear a Path
Worldbuilding - Renounce the Guilds
Emotional - Murmuring Phantasm (Horror) #MTG

Sets for the day are the Master Sets, so Modern Masters up to Double Masters!
Cool - Tarmogoyf (Modern Masters)
Funny - Squee, Goblin Nabob (Ultimate Masters)
Worldbuilding - Mox Opal (Double Masters Box topper)
Emotional - Ancestral Mask (Eternal Masters) #MTG

Magic 2014
Cool - Archangel of Thune
Funny - Indestructibility
Funny - Solemn Offering
Worldbuilding - Darksteel Forge #MTG

Theros
Cool - Fabled Hero
Funny - Griptide (I'm sorry, I just love the mental image of this flavor text)
Worldbuilding - The Theriad Cycle
Worldbuilding - Commune with the Gods #MTG

Born of the Gods
Cool - Aspect of Hydra
Worldbuilding - Reckless Reveler
Worldbuilding - The Theriad Cycle (again)
Emotional - Forlorn Pseudamma (Horror) #MTG

Journey into Nyx
Cool - Godhunter Octopus
Funny - Riptide Chimera
Worldbuilding - The last pieces of the Theriad Cycle
Emotional - Aspect of Gorgon #MTG

Conspiracy + Conspiracy: Take the Crown
Cool - Phyrexian Arena
Funny - Predator's Howl
Worldbuilding - Deathreap Ritual
Emotional - Enraged Revolutionary #MTG

Magic 2015
Cool - Blastfire Bolt
Funny - Ensoul Artifact
Funny - Research Assistant
Worldbuilding - Perilous Vault

Khans of Tarkir
Cool - Utter End
Funny - Dead Drop
Worldbuilding - The Banner Cycle
Emotional - Duneblast

Fate Reforged
Cool -Alesha, Who Smiles at Death
Funny - Feral Krushok
Worldbuilding - Crux of Fate
Emotional - Fruit of the First Tree

Dragons of Tarkir
Cool - Epic Confrontation
Funny - Pacifism
Worldbuilding - Learn from the Past
Emotional - Echoes of the Kin Tree

Magic Origins
Cool - Citadel Castellan
Funny - Chandra's Fury
Worldbuilding - Zendikar's Roil
Emotional - Blessed Spirits

Battle for Zendikar
Cool - Drana, Liberator of Malakir
Funny - Broodhunter Wurm
Worldbuilding - Hedron Archive
Emotional - Reckless Cohort

Oath of the Gatewatch
Cool - Call the Gatewatch
Funny - Hedron Crawler
Worldbuilding - The Oath Cycle
Emotional - Relentless Hunter

Shadows Over Innistrad
Cool - Ember-Eye Wolf
Funny - Hinterland Logger // Timber Shredder
Worldbuilding - Anguished Unmaking
Emotional - Always Watching

Eldritch Moon
Cool - Long Road Home
Funny - Incendiary Flow
Worldbuilding - Imprisoned in the Moon
Emotional - Peace of Mind

Kaladesh
Cool - Padeem, Consul of Innovation
Funny - Weaponcraft Enthusiast
Worldbuilding - Aether Hub
Emotional - Live Fast AND Die Young

Aether Revolt
Cool - Conviction
Funny - Ajani's Comrade
Worldbuilding - Call for Unity
Emotional - Ornithopter

Amonkhet
Cool - Exemplar of Strength
Funny - Initiate's Companion
Worldbuilding - Those Who Serve
Emotional - Compulsory Rest

Hour of Devastation
Cool - Grisly Survivor
Funny - Granitic Titan
Worldbuilding - Moaning Wall
Emotional - Survivors' Encampment

Ixalan
Cool - Admiral Beckett Brass
Funny - Rigging Runner
Worldbuilding - River's Rebuke
Emotional - Perilous Voyage

Unstable + Unsanctioned
Cool - Chittering Doom
Funny - "Rumors of My Death . . ."
Worldbuilding - Amateur Auteur
Emotional - Five-Finger Discount (Horror)

Rivals of Ixalan
Cool - World Shaper
Funny - Arterial Flow
Worldbuilding - This nameless flavor text... cycle (?)
Emotional - Gleaming Barrier

Dominaria
Cool - Lyra Dawnbringer
Funny - Rescue
Worldbuilding - The Legendary Sorcery Cycle
Emotional - Final Parting

Battlebond
Cool - Thrilling Encore
Funny - Tidespout Tyrant
Worldbuilding - Last Gasp
Emotional - Fumble

Magic 2019
Cool - Lena, Selfless Champion
Funny - Prodigious Growth
Worldbuilding - The Bolas Sorcery Cycle
Emotional - Psychic Symbiont (Horror)

Guilds of Ravnica
Cool - Street Riot
Cool - Sworn Companions
Funny - Divine Visitation
Worldbuilding - Sinister Sabotage

Ravnica Allegiance
Cool - Hero of Precinct One
Funny - Concordia Pegasus
Worldbuilding - Priest of Forgotten Gods
Emotional - Eyes Everywhere (Horror)

Since War of the Spark was our last "Event Set" I will give it the honour of being my last double post for a single set. With that said:
War of the Spark (Ravnica)
Cool - Mobilized District
Funny - Chainwhip Cyclops
Worldbuilding - The Bonds Cycle
Emotional - Heartfire

War of the Spark (Planeswalker)
Cool - Finale of Eternity
Funny - Sorin's Thrist
Worldbuilding - Prison Realm
Emotional - Heartwarming Redemption