Thread by @autumns_updates

Places in my local mall that I associate each #bb23 houseguest with: a thread 🧵

Kyland- Build a bear workshop
Is it because I view him as a giant teddy bear? Probably. Childlike and new best friend energy. #bb23

Britini- Bath and Body Works
First of all, I can imagine her having 2.3 million mini lotions and hand sanitizers. Peppy, full of energy. Likely smells strongly of vanilla bean. She’s the big ass coupon your mom is excited to get in the mail. #bb23

Brent - GNC
Overpriced and kinda douchey. Great if you’re a bulky bro, not so much if you’re anyone else. A place to shop if your entire persona is based on looks. Bland interior. Going to tell you about his favorite protein powder (you didn’t ask) #bb23

Claire- H&M
Trendy, reliable. They check all the boxes: cute, in budget, even recycling your old clothes. They truly have the basic pieces we’re looking for without the tacky sayings slapped on like at Forever 21. They deliver what they promise 👏 #bb23

Xavier- Sharper Image
God I would LOVE to receive a massage from that place 😏

For those with expensive taste, but also has a fun and playful side. #bb23

Azah- Auntie Anne’s Pretzels
An institution that can do no wrong. A staple of every shopping center.

Sweet to the core, and feels like pure friendship. Could hang out there all day. She ensures we are being FED. An Angel with the halo and all. #bb23

Travis- Pac Sun
The only thing I know about this place is that it’s beachy vibes. Not particularly offensive, but I wouldn’t miss it if it was gone.

Non-existent marketing in all honesty. They’re not fighting to draw you in. #bb23

Whitney- Victoria Secret Outlet
Mostly because I feel like she would smell like the Pink Body mists. Contains more items for the man than the woman in all honesty. You’ve been arm deep in the panty bin for 6 minutes and still haven’t found something you like…. #bb23

Christian- Finish Line
I have absolutely no reason to go in this store, I don’t know anything about this store, it just exists. Probably marking a pair of Nikes up by 20% just because they can 🤷‍♀️ #bb23

Alyssa- Hollister
Largest size jeans is a 6. Judging the fuck out of you. Heavy middle school energy and overpriced for no reason. Works there to get to know hot guys. We should have left this energy in 2006.

Will look you up and down if you ask for a smaller size… #bb23

Derek X - Game Stop
TO THE MOON 🚀
Despite having no actual reasons to do so, I want to invest. We buy the stock because we like the stock- not because it’s good. Even if they close their doors, will always be worth $600 a share in my eyes. A fun time. #bb23

Hannah- Zara
Probably the coolest store I have at my mall, but newer to the scene. That cool, trendy bitch. People who make tiktoks and middle part approve. #bb23

Derek F- Panda Express
This sounds so good and so funny in the moment. You can’t help but be attracted to the smell of the delightful, upbeat orange chicken. But when you’re on the toilet with your head between your knees later, you’ll regret it. The betrayal. #bb23

Sarah Beth- Nordstrom Rack
A pleasant ass surprise. Hidden treasures in abundance. You walk out looking good and with your wallet feeling good. The good looks of Nordstrom without the attitude. Reliable. #bb23

Tiffany- Cheesecake Factory
YES! Everything you could have ever wanted is on that menu (and more). Free bread PLUS a cheesecake flavor for any taste. You beg your mom to take you here on your birthday. Nothing but good vibes. A true TREAT. #bb23

Frenchie- Mall Kiosk Hair Straightener
Crazy as fuck, stalking you through the mall. Will call you beautiful then yell at you for being a bitch when you don’t stop walking. Grabbing your hair without your consent. No one likes this yet it is still somehow in business. #bb23

Stop sharing the Frenchie one- I don’t want his family to block me I need to see the messy