General Phillipon is ready to ruin Wellington's week.
General Marmont says don't you dare bloody mention Salamanca. Why does everyone always mention Salamanca?
Marshal Soult would TOTALLY lead his army to help...
...but he's busy taking pictures of Grenada for his Insta.
I could honestly write a whole Yaoi manga about the Napoleonic wars. It would be so easy.
Because seriously: A key qualification for being appointed to army command by Napoleon was:
"Are you a pretty French boy who likes frilly jackets?"
Not saying they weren't COMPETENT.
Just that "pretty and frilly" was definitely on the "desired skills" LinkedIn job ad.
Hi. I'm General Charles Etienne Gudin.
LIKES: Long walks in the garden. Discussing which 'ships are canon.
DISLIKES: Long walks in the snow. Cannonballs.
Meet General Bernadotte. He likes horse riding and city breaks.
If you're dating him, don't introduce him to your Swedish friends.
General Murat is a good listener, but he WILL steal your shampoo.
Also, if he starts going on "business trips" to Italy. Ditch the mf.
General Jean Andoch Junot has seen and done things no man should have to see or do.
And those things will, sadly, be too much for him in the end.
Marshal Jean Lannes, Duke of Montebello.
Calls you 'tu' not 'vous', but you don't mind.
Likes the same books you like. Your mum loves him. But if he invites you to holiday on the Danube, DON'T GO.
You now realise why Marshal Davout always had a hat on in his Tinder photos, but he does seem like a nice guy...
And finally, Marshal Prince Jozef Poniatowski.
If he loves you, he will lay down his life for you. Literally.
That's all the pretty boy French Marshals and generals I can think of for now.
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