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Sep 9, 2021, 19 tweets

I got an email that PragerU, the website where right-wing elderdouche Dennis Prager pretends to educate people, had a short video for kids: "Otto's Tales: Today Is September 11th." The goal? "To remember what happened on 9/11 and how the country came together." Let's watch.

What the hell...Otto's a person in a dog costume? To teach us about 9/11? Were puppets too subtle? What's with the crazy eyes? Otto looks like he's seen some shit.

Jill Simonian, the non-costumed host, tells Otto that it's a bit scary, but don't worry because it's really about bravery and love. Otto, as you might imagine, freaks the fuck out a bit, as he should since 9/11 is also about death, violence, war, and horror.

Jill tells Otto to "get comfy and listen," and, swear to fuck, Otto shits all over the memory of 9/11 by going to sleep. Look at this asshole give a tired stretch. And then Jill whispers so not to wake him. Sorry, don't wanna interrupt your nap there, you garbage dog.

Jill starts to read the book and...wait...is that tiny George Bush? No, it's little Dennis Prager. Fuck, that's creepy.

For context, here's actual Dennis Prager. Time has reamed that little boy.

In the story, wee Dennis is playing firefighter for him and Otto to go on their "next adventure": time traveling back to NYC on 9/11/01. Jesus, what horrors they are going to witness. Look how happy these delusional bitches are. They are about to be scarred for life.

I should mention that Otto is narrating the story. Maybe that's why he fell asleep at the beginning. "I wrote this shit," he thought. "I know what happens."

Jill reads, "Osama bin Laden was the bad man in charge.
His group called 'al Qaeda' had grown quite large."
Yeah, time to scare the shit out of the kids. I'm honestly surprised one of them isn't holding Otto's severed head.

If you've ever wondered, "How would an anthropomorphic dog and a weird man child react to 9/11?" your question has been answered.

If you're like me, you're thinking, "Wee Dennis is going to have to go into the Twin Towers to rescue people because he's a goddamn firefighter and it's 9/11. Because, otherwise, why make put him in that outfit? That'd be fucking dumb."

Instead, he and Otto nope the fuck out of there.

Seriously, at this point, the street is littered with popped corpses of people who jumped, the air is full of smoke and poison and human ashes, and this fucking little shit dog is all

They zoom to the Oval Office, in time to see George W. Bush give a speech, still fucking grinning like they're brain-damaged. Bush must have thought he was having some coke-induced flashback.

This is what a MAGA cretin sees when he drops acid.

They head to the present, and Dennis and Otto visit the 9/11 memorial and learn that "Americans came together even stronger after that terrible attack," which is fucked up from a website that has videos like "Why I Left the Left" and "Make Men Masculine Again." But, hey, freedom!

Finally, that piece of shit bitch Otto wakes up in time to salute us. Stolen valor, motherfucker!

I'd like to think that sometimes, in the middle of the night, Otto wakes up in a cold sweat, wondering what horrific events his cruel master Dennis is going to force him to witness. "Goddamn you, Dennis," he whispers to the dark, "goddamn your small, barren soul."

I guess you can watch it for yourself, if you must: prageru.com/video/storytim…

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