Thread by @RealJasonNelson

Well this may not be a nice motel, but at least it’s expensive. 🤷🏻

At least they put a chalk outline on the bed so I know how to sleep in it. 🤷🏻

I want to take a photo, but the best angle is with the lights off. 🤷🏻

I’ve never stayed in a hotel with a desolate abandoned bunker motif. 🤷🏻

I love wearing all my clothes to bed. They make great sheets/animal protectant.

This hotel has a very murdery vibe to it.

I feel like this is where Craigslist started, and ended. 🤷🏻

This was a mistake.

Kabul has better motel than this.

No “s”.

If I don’t make it, please come rescue the pizza sauce. 👍🏼

Gross. Now I’m itchy.

I think I’m at the “last-days-inn”.

I just sneezed and someone said “shut up.”.

I didn’t know they could make air conditioners out of old jet engines. 🤷🏻

Does it sound snobby when I say I hate being stabbed while sleeping?

I wish I had a friend so we could swap guard duty. 🤷🏻

I also want to know why the front desk guy giggled when he said, “You’re around back.”

People in the audience are telling me to run.

Have I said this was a mistake yet?

If not, this was a mistake.

I should have paid extra for a lock.

Not a joke.

I don’t think there’s a window in the window.

At least the light flickers. 🤷🏻

Good news.

I barricaded the doors so I can’t escape. 👍🏼

This is- by far- the worst place I’ve stayed tonight.

I’m waiting for the police to tell me the call is coming from inside the room.

I’m going to end up on the news.

I can feel it.

I made it!

(The audience groans, as our hero speaks too soon.)

It was a horrible night, but at least I got to cuddle with my .45

She’s missed that.

@threadreaderapp please unroll?