My friend Julie is staying here tonight as she moves out of NYC. We are all in bed. Happening right now:
US: *in bed at 10pm because we were up with dog five times last night*
DOOR: ding dong
US: ????
DOOR: hello I am the plumber
ME: what?
DOOR: We need to take your toliet.
ME: what's that now?
PLUMBER: we need to take your toilet
ME: *considers*
ME: why
PLUMBER: it is leaking on to the downstairs
ME: oh
PLUMBER: so we just need to rip it out right now
ME: oh
ME: *wakes Julie*
JULIE: glurgh?
ME: I'm sorry they have to come and take the toilet, can Dexy stay with you for a minute also me
JULIE: ????
PLUMBER: *rolls in with crew*
ME: *is in bed with Julie and dog*
ME: *listens to toilet being ripped out, dog barks*
OSCAR: *comes in to join us*
OSCAR: it's...it's worse. they need to take the floor
ME: what's that now
OSCAR: the problem, is in the floor. so they have to take the floor
ME, to Julie: so, um, are you having a good night's sleep real quick they just have to take the floor
ME: *peers in bathroom*
BATHROOM:
Julie is blaming the UN General Assembly and honestly she may be right.
Now all of us are in bed with Julie. Me, Dexy, Oscar. Maybe even the toilet if we play our cards right.
ME, to Julie: so, um, feel free to go back to sleep don’t mind us
PLUMBER: so your floor is messed up and we’re going to have to demolish it
ME: I was asleep 20 minutes ago
PLUMBER: you have short pipes
ME: I’m sorry.
PLUMBER: we’re going now. We’ll be back.
ME: when
PLUMBER: that is for us to know
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