Alex Psirides Profile picture
Co-director @WellingtonICU. National RRT/MET @HQSCNZ. Aeromedical retrieval @lifeflightnz. Once ventilated a chimpanzee.

Oct 2, 2021, 17 tweets

On long car journeys I relax by browsing medical stock image libraries. Here's what I found...

Don't write patient details on the label; write the result of the test. Also, use the red vacutainer.

Pre-printed labels are available to help you if you are unsure what the result will be. Also, use the purple vacutainer.

If you are transporting antibodies to 'the' COVID-19, use a clotting tube.

Alternatively use a yellow vacutainer. Unfortunately this patient later turned out to have both Ebola & Dengue.

If you have malignant hyperthermia, please do NOT get on an aeroplane.

The COVID virus is both visible to the naked eye on a monochromatic X-ray and emits a red glow. The depicted emotional response to realising this seems appropriate.

If your X-ray looks like this however, PCR testing is probably not required.

If performing finger prick testing, please clean your desk first.

Neither the photographer nor the model here seem to have ever seen a pregnant woman before.

Nope.

Definitely still nope.

And finally, my favourite title of all that combines sexism with a mysterious neon pictographic overlay for no apparent reason.

Mandatory disclaimer: all photos are © of 123rf.com
Please visit, find some more, and post them below.

Thanks to those who have DM'd more. Here is 'Goggled man testing raspberry lemonade'.

Followed by 'Swab tester with no understanding of facial anatomy'

And then whatever the hell this is

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