Steven Dennis Profile picture
Bloomberg reporter / Congress. Opinions mine. #FridayNightZillow #CheapZillow for fun. RTs ≠. Tips: sdennis17@bloomberg.net

Oct 24, 2021, 16 tweets

Rare #SaturdayNightZillow thread starts now:

An industrial-strength ranch for people who want to feel the touch of antlers every time they open their kitchen drawers. This place is pretty insane. Taxidermy and then some. *Fair warning* zillow.com/homedetails/15…

"The touch, the feel of antlers, antlers in your hands." I can't even. Nice kitchen though? #SaturdayNightZillow

The bottle cap backsplashes are a nice touch. Very bro vibe in this place. $4M. #SaturdayNightZillow

Somebody must love having all of this taxidermy in a glorified garage, but it's really, really, really not my style. Maybe it's yours. #SaturdayNightZillow

You get 246 acres, 6 breeding pens, a lake, a couple ponds, timber, "Predator wire," a fence, roads, "pure New Zealand genetics" red deer, Elk, Sheep, Antelope, Ibex, etc.

Big air circulation fan and freezers and so on for, uh, processing. #SaturdayNightZillow

I should have mentioned it's in Texas. Next up, another Texas house with something I've never seen before on Zillow.

Well this is a new one for me. My wife found a 5BR, 3BA, 9,999 sf home in Texas for, checks notes, ***$75,000***

But, uh, there is a GINORMOUS CATCH.

I would say "catch of the gods" but then @mikedebonis would get on my case again! #SaturdayNightZillow zillow.com/homedetails/10…

No, the catch is not this sweet Dr. Pepper machine. #SaturdayNightZillow

The CATCH: "HOUSE TO BE MOVED! Do you own land? This beautiful historic home is ready for the new owner to move it to a new location where it can be a true showplace!"

Buyer to assume all moving costs. #SaturdayNightZillow

Next on #SaturdayNightZillow: Just a weird pink house in Los Angeles, that I guess for California almost qualifies as affordable? 4BR for $550K. The interior is a little hard on the retinas. zillow.com/homedetails/11…

A palate cleanser up next: A gorgeous San Francisco home with a problematic master bedroom.

$3.75M buys you a cool San Francisco home with an indoor lap pool, nice views, deck, hot tub. But methinks it takes open floor plan a little too far: Toilets shouldn't be *in the same room* as your bed.
Is this becoming a thing? #SaturdayNightZillow
zillow.com/homedetails/13…

Here's that lap pool.

Ending with a fantastic historic home that I probably should have posted on #FridayNightZillow but you get the treat for staying up late on #SaturdayNightZillow:

$585K. Big, lovely! Except for a *toilet situation* waiting for you on Pic 34. zillow.com/homedetails/Pu…

Peekaboo! Again: Potty should NOT be this close to a bed, even if you've disguised it like this. Hope you enjoyed #SaturdayNightZillow!

H/t to my wife and sister-in-law for these homes.

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