Allison Robicelli Profile picture
Food/bev/travel writer & humorist | words in WaPo | Substack food pornographer | Moved my brand of bullshit to IG stories (at) allisonrobicelli

Dec 3, 2021, 9 tweets

I snuck behind the service entrance and found a bunch of fruit trees, and now I have to sneak back to my hotel room without anyone knowing I stole their lemons.

@thatbilloakley I feel like you might know a little bit about lemon tree theft and could really use your help on this, buddy.

Found a secret path that might get me back to my room undetected! If I don’t tweet again today, it means I died in here.

Snuck through the north hotel buildings completely undetected! Now to make it to the south building.

Anyone know what these berries are? Safe to put these in my pants?

Think I found a back entrance? So far so good.

SUCCESS! I’m in the south building, but I was almost spotted. There is a person with a large wagon right outside my room so I’ll need to wait this out next to the ice machines.

I made it! Look at all the fruit I fit in my pants! Now I’m going to eat them in the shower like a motherfucking champion.

So eating oranges in the shower was not as fun as I anticipated. I mean, it was fine, but not great.

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