Thread by @Thomas_Kitching

Time for a quick look at the Marble Arch Mound. I’m very excited to see what £6m of taxpayers money can produce.

It’s very inviting.

The mound has rules but thankfully rule one is to ‘keep your belongings with you at all times’, not ‘do not talk about the mound’.

It’ll still be hard though, I left many of my belongings on the boat and even more of them in Manchester.

I was asked if I had a ticket and I said I didn’t but they let me in anyway

Having climbed the lower slopes of the mound one can enjoy the moss covered flat roof of the Marble Arch tube station.

The mound is covered in a thin layer of weeds

Most of the trees fell off quite early on but this silver birch has managed to survive. Little does the plucky rebel know that it is to be demolished on January 9th. So much for survival of the fittest.

There are more security staff than punters. They all look bored and very cold. I don’t know what they are guarding yet but I shall find out.

Did you know that all London buses have identifying codes on the roof? I didn’t! Now I do. Thank you, mound.

This will be useful information if I ever get lost in London whilst floating 30ft above the ground.

I’ve made it to the top and it affords excellent views of structures that offer better views than the mound:

Inside now and I can’t help but feel that the whole thing is just a loft conversion project that got out of hand.

Major plot twist!

The inside is the best bit to be honest. Look at the shapes!

I haven’t seen this much dubious temporary scaffolding since the time we rebuilt half of a wooden oil tanker on Northwich dry dock

Bit fucking late for that, I’ve just descended about 200

The bottom is a surprise, and a good one too.

To a soundtrack of ambient music and the spatter of muddy drops of water cascading through the mound onto the ceiling.

And that’s that.

Or is it? Hello mound?

I’m out of my comfort zone now to be honest with you.

The Mound speaks! And it has capitalised itself so I am to assume it considers itself to be alive and sentient.

It’s difficult. I don’t want to hurt Mound’s feelings but I can’t be too generous. I’ll try asking Mound how they feel and see if we can strike up a friendship.

Mound rebuffs my question. Is it me or is Mound a bit needy? I guess if you’ve been slated in the popular press like Mound has I can understand why you might just need a bit of reassurance. I’ll just listen and answer their questions and hope it helps them find peace.

I answer Mound’s questions. But then it occurs to me, does Mound know what is due to happen after January 9th? I stop myself quickly but have I given too much away already?

I think I got away with it. But what’s this? Is Mound.. asking me out?

Maybe I can help save Mound. We could elope somewhere they’d never find us, like the Peak District. I know we’ve only just met but I’ve already been all over and inside Mound and I can hardly just abandon them now. I’m not that kind of guy.

Mound seems pretty chilled, unaware of what will happen to them. No time to waste now, just tell them the truth, straight up.

My heart is broken. Mound lets me go.

I’m glad so many people have enjoyed this. Thank you for the retweets. Here’s the sort of writing I normally do. I’m blogging winter on the canals in London.

buskengland.wordpress.com

To anyone who makes it this far and has enjoyed it, here’s my regular writing, a winter on the waterways of London. :)

buskengland.wordpress.com/2022/01/03/spo…