Alex Blechman Profile picture
Writer, game designer x Staff Writer @TheOnion & @ClickHole Stuff for Jackbox Games, High On Life, Starship Troopers: TC, Saints Row, other places

Jan 15, 2022, 22 tweets

Friend: You gotta read this manga, it’s amazing. It has been published continuously since 1985 in 162 books that will cost you $7000

Me: Didn’t they make a TV show of that?

Friend: Yeah, season 1 of the anime covers volumes 1-37, the first 9000 pages, but they skip a few things

Friend: It’s all drawn by one guy

Me: Wow, that’s amazing!

Friend: Yeah, he is not happy

Friend: I think volume 163 is coming out soon. I watched an interview with the artist, he looks very tired from work, a broken man

Me: But his drawings are so cheerful

Friend: He was smoking two cigarettes at once

Friend: If you see the anime, don’t watch the sub or dub, the sdub is the only good one

Me: Sdub?

Friend: The bootleg version that’s subtitles except for the English voice actors that did a good job

Me: Enjoying it so far! But I can’t find a copy of volume 3

Friend: Oh yeah, it’s out of print. Contractual issue from when the artist changed publishers

Me: Maybe I can buy it used

Friend: A ripped book with the cover missing is on ebay for $200

Me: There’s more than one anime?

Friend: Yeah, fans hated the ending of the original so they made a second anime with a different finale. But fans hated the new show except for the ending. So they made a movie that retcons both series to have the story of #1 and ending of #2

Friend: I wrote up a watch order for the movies. First start with 1, then 1.1, 2.1, 2.22, 4, 3.2, 4.0, then 5

Me: They have decimals?

Friend: You can skip 5.1, it has some extra clips but nothing essential, and go straight to 5.3

Me: These titles are confusing. What’s the difference between Resurgence, Revitalization, and Restoration?

Friend: Oh, that’s the same film. The studio changed the title for release in different countries

Me: Rejuvenation too?

Friend: Oh. No, fans don’t talk about Rejuvenation

Me: There’s a live-action film?

Friend: The 90s adaptation isn’t that faithful. They got rid of all the magic and samurai, moved the setting to Los Angeles. The main character’s name was changed to Johnny Gasoline. There’s a lot, and I mean A LOT, of product placement for Pepsi

Friend: They’re bringing the artist out of his medically induced coma…

Me: He’s in a coma? I’m glad he’s recovering

Friend: …so he can finish the next chapter by the deadline

Me: Oh no

Friend: Then they’re putting him back in the coma

Me: The talking cow is pretty funny

Friend: What the hell man

Me: What?

Friend: The artist’s wife was trampled to death by a cow. Moo-chan is his expression of grief, it’s not meant to be funny

Me: It’s a talking cow that tells jokes!

Friend: You’re messed up

Me: These panels are completely black

Friend: Yeah, that’s the storyline when the hero was trapped in a dark cave

Me: How many pages does it go on like this?

Friend: The cave arc lasted from 1989 to 1992

Me: This splash page is gorgeous! The detail he puts into every flower…

Friend: Yeah, the artist drew that during a particularly dark period of his life

Friend: Check it out! My rare foil card

Me: They turned the manga into a card game?

Friend: Yeah, it’s super popular. Insanely popular.

Me: Looks fun

Friend: There have been a lot of murders to steal cards. Stores had to hire armed guards

Me: What happened to the ninja? He was my favorite character but then just vanishes from the comic

Friend: Oh, they wrap up his story in the video game. Do you have a Neo Geo? I’ll lend you my cartridge

Me: What’s the deal with that spinoff comic, the one drawn in the super-chibi style where all the characters are kids attending high school together? None of that’s canon right?

Friend: Oh, it is

Me: Marlon Brando is in this anime!

Friend: Yeah, he recorded voiceover before his death. They didn’t give him any lines though, he does the neighing for the horses

Me: It took days but I almost finished playing the Neo Geo game. Can’t say I enjoyed it

Friend: Yeah, it’s pretty bad. But the story is great

Me: Can’t wait for the ending

Friend: You got the artifact right? From the secret cave in level 1? You can’t win if you didn’t get it

Me: Why didn’t they translate this chapter?

Friend: That’s not kanji, that’s the druidic language the author invented

Me: Where can I find the translation?

Friend: Fans have been trying to decipher it for 30 years

Me: This volume of the manga has no dialogue? All the characters are crying in a beautiful park. The hero and the villain are hugging

Friend: Yeah, the artist took the death of Princess Diana pretty hard

Me: The hierophant is alive? How? He got beheaded 20 volumes ago!

Friend: Yeah, fans have a lot of theories. That he’s resurrected, or an impostor, or a time traveler

Me: The other characters aren’t surprised to see him

Friend: It’s also possible the author forgot he died

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