The Meanest TA, PhD. 💖💜💙 Profile picture
certified know it all.

Apr 1, 2022, 14 tweets

Everyone on my team (5 men ages 48-75) texts me to make sure the slang they’re using is correct in context. Some examples below:

From Boss (74): “Can I say this meeting got lit if I mean people were getting upset?”

Me: “No but you can say they were salty about it.”

WorkDad (58): “What does yeet mean?”

Me:

Project Manager (48): “Do people still say hella?”

Me: “Not in this state.”

In return they translate my frustrations into professional corporate.

Me: “How do I say this meeting is a waste of my time I am not paid enough to deal with your bullshit?”

Boss: “Can you provide me with a meeting agenda so I can ensure my presence adds value? I want to prioritize my schedule to support our most urgent needs.”

Me: “How do I say there is no way you are this fucking stupid?”

WorkDad: “I think there was a disconnect, can you restate your definition of this concept so we can ensure there’s no miscommunication?”

Me: “How do I say I am not your secretary?”

Elder Curmudgeon: “I’m going to redirect you to (name) for assistance on this particular task.”

Me: “How do I say I have a goddamn PhD do not patronize me?”

Project Manager: “I appreciate the clarification, however I do have the subject matter expertise to manage this on my own.”

Me: “How do I say fight me?”

Project Manager: (deep sigh) “I think we should discuss this offline.”

Project Manager: “How do I tell my (17y/o) daughter she cannot wear a crop top to my mother’s Sunday dinner?”

Me: “Bestie, respectfully, ✨no✨”

Me: “How do I say you fucked around now you’re finding out?”

Boss: “I think you’ll find that this outcome is in line with the predictions we made during the (date) meeting.”

Boss: “What does tea mean? Not the liquid.”

Me: “Background information, but more like gossip. Spill the tea means informally contextualizing.”

Boss: “So I should ask CEO to spill the tea on the (name) project?”

Me: “Please cc me if you do I want to see his reaction so bad.”

(Slack message)

CEO: “Did you teach Boss the phrase spill the tea?”

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