Thread by @skyfallgar

#kirideku, #krdk, hanahaki, college au, jock!kr, nerd!dk, angst
title: flowers that he'd never see
inspired by the "i wished you were sober" song

-
-
-

since the day they met, izuku had always felt like he was watching eijiro from the sidelines.

when eijiro scored for the first time, it was were he was standing, watching and cheering for his friend.

when eijiro walked side by side with his current boyfriend or girlfriend on campus, that was were he found himself too, frozen, reminded once again that he didn't have a

chance in the first place, that eijiro would always be way out of his league.

and when eijiro would bring conquests to their shared dorms, he could only smile from there, as if it didn't tear his heart apart.

god, izuku hated the sidelines.

he wished he could leave them, enter the field and stand beside eijiro, but he knew, deep down inside of him, that it was something out of his reach.

"you're just being stupid," kacchan had once said, flicking his forehead.

and he was right, he was being stupid. because midoriya izuku was so stupidly in love with kirishima eijiro.

that was the reason he was dying, after all.

he kept all the flowers, as a token of his feelings. it was stupidly beautiful.

nobody knew, not even kacchan. especially not eijiro. telling anyone would make it too real, and he just wanted to forget. forget that the man he loved would never love him back.

but when he was crying at night, feeling flowers bloom from his lungs, when he was

throwing up his desperate love on his bloodied sheets, he wished someone could hold him tight until it stopped. until he died.

but he hadn't died yet, and he was forced to live with this condition, with the constant heartbreak, the love he hold for kirishima eijiro.

it had been weeks, or months; he didn't really know. he had been in love with eijiro since the day they met. since the day his eyes landed on him, the day they both moved into their shared dorm, eager to start a new life here.

he didn't really know how he had managed to hide his condition to his roommate for so long. but again, the answer wasn't that hard to find; eijiro had never really looked his way.

it was hard, sometimes. watching the object of his love live his dream life like he had no place

in it. like he was never supposed to be a part of it. and it was true; eijiro didn't need him. didn't want him.

that was why he kept watching him from the sidelines, because that was were he stood in eijiro's life, an outsider that was so stupidly in love with someone out of his

grasp.

sometimes, one of eijiro's friend would call him, asking him if he could come pick him up, because he was too wasted to make it home safely.

kacchan kept telling him that he didn't have to agree - that he /shouldn't/ agree -, but he had never listened to him anyway.

tonight wasn't different. so, when kaminari called, giving him his drunken friend location, he grabbed his vest and left the dorm.

he found him near the sound of a frat party, sitting on some stairs, waiting for him. it was the only few times he would be the one waiting

for him.

"ei," he said softly. "let's go home."

eijiro nodded, getting brusquely up, before tripping on himself. izuku caught him before he could fall on the ground.

"so strong, izu," he managed to say, flustered by the alcohol running through his veins.

izuku felt blood rise to his face. "i've been working out," he mumbled.

"i can tell."

the rest of the walk was pretty quiet, eijiro's sweet talking sometimes breaking the silence. izuku could feel his throat becoming more and more sore with every word he said,

with each step they took.

when they got to their dorm, he sat his drunk roommate on his bed, gently removing his shoes and his leather jacket, before bringing him a glass of water he left on his night stand.

"good night, ei," he smiled.

as he was about to leave, strong arms caged him between them, pulling him against a firm chest.

"kiss me in the seat of your rover," eijiro sang in a whisper.

/pulling me close, begging me to stay over./

izuku was used to it. smiling sadly, he striped himself out of eijiro's warm embrace.

"real sweet, but i wish you were sober," he softly sang back but eijiro didn't hear him. he was already fast asleep.

that night he cried a full bouquet of spider lilies.

tbc

tysm everyone for all your favs and rts 🙏☺️☺️ here's the continuation! it's my first time writing narration in english so I hope you like it 😊

when eijiro emerged from his slumber, it was already the end of the day and the last rays of the sun were lazily peaking through the fences of his window. there was a glass of water on his nightstand and his phone was plugged next to him.

that must have been izuku's doing.

groaning because of his hangover headache, he grabbed his phone. the light of the device blinded him for a minute before his eyes could adjust.

19:34. great, his day was ruined.

he glanced at his notifications, seeing he had received some messages from kaminari asking him

if he was awake already and a lot from his coach.

"fuuuuck, I missed practice," he whined.

usually, izuku would wake him up when he slept too late.

speaking of the other boy, he vaguely recalled a sight of green from his blurry memory of the last night.

did izuku bring him home?

eijiro smiled softly. he really was the perfect roommate.

he quickly sent an apology to his coach, promising it wouldn't happen again.

to: kami
sorry bro i overslept

from: kami
loser
coach was pissed lmao
greenie didn't wake you up?

to: kami
no
must be busy

from: kami
doing what?
he doesn't have any friend

to: kami
he's friend with bakugo

from: kami
ur point?

eijiro sighed, leaving his bed to go to the kitchen he shared with his roommate. he frowned upon seeing that everything was the same as the day before.

usually, izuku spent his saturdays trying new recipes with bakugo, and it was always a mess.

most of the times, he was the one who cleaned everything, because both of them had to leave in the middle of the afternoon to meet up with their moms.

he checked his phone to see if izuku hadn't sent him a message, but there were none.

maybe they had cleaned the kitchen themselves.

from: coach
fine. I'll let it pass for this time.
don't be late on tuesday.
a sponsor will be there.

from: kami
really
i mean
what could he be doing
hes either alone or w u
maybe he thinks ur dating lol

to: coach
thank you coach!

to: kami
lol
yk its not like that
hes just my roommate

he sighed and opened the fridge, looking for something to give his growling stomach.

izuku had the habit to cook a bit more than what he needed so he could give eijiro some food to reheat

for dinner, but he didn't see any plate, or any of the cute notes izuku usually left with it.

there were, however, the ingredients his roommate had bought for today. he frowned, checking his phone once again, but he still hadn't received any text from him, or from bakugo.

/well, no news mean good news, right?/

from what he saw in the fridge, bakugo probably wanted to make katsudon, which was a dish eijiro actually knew how to cook, so he decided to prepare one, or two. he knew that izuku hated to do anything on sundays,

so maybe he'll appreciate it if he just had to reheat it.

when he was done with his cooking, he placed the plate inside the fridge, keeping only a portion for himself to bring to his room. he left a note for izuku, letting him know the food was for him and

thanking him for bringing him home the night before.

he didn't remember everything well, but he could recall the sight of green who came to him when the music was too loud, his body too heavy and his mind far too drunk.

after his solitary dinner, he left the plate on his desk and took his computer. he could do the dishes later, for now he just wanted to relax in bed in front of netflix.

as some random series was playing on his screen, he let his mind wander,

wondering what his roommate was up to, and why he hadn't followed his routine today.

as he was slowly falling asleep, he couldn't help the slight feeling of hurt that went to him,

along with the realization that izuku wouldn't have had any reason to tell him about his whereabouts.

because despite seeing each other everyday, despite the movie nights they had on sundays, and despite their routines falling into one another without any hitch;

when everything was said and done, they only remain two roommates who stayed out of each other's path once the doorstep of their shared dorms was crossed, once one of them had to get back to his own life.

as his mind was quietly drifting off to a world of dreams he couldn't quite totally reach, he thought of green eyes looking back at him, and he wished that both of their existences could cross, even for one short distance, so they could walk together, even for one brief moment.

tbc

to the top

the next days passed in a blur. eijiro didn't recall much of the monotonous week. tuesday came and training went well, the sponsor had been impressed and his coach had congratulated him cheerfully, telling him to keep up the great job.

and eijiro felt that feeling of happiness for a brief instant, but he had to come home and there were no one to celebrate with him.

he felt slightly hurt that izuku hadn't told him anything about what he was up to, but he knew he didn't have to.

maybe he could have told him that he wouldn't be there for a few days, but that was it. at the end of the day, he was aware that they were only roommates.

eijiro sighed, izuku was probably visiting some friends or family. he knew he had an important exam next week,

and maybe he needed some vacation to release that stress.

he would be back soon and they would fall into their routine once again, then it wouldn't feel so weird anymore.

because there was something strange in living alone, in living without izuku.

it didn't feel right when no one was there to wake him up when he was oversleeping, or when he had no one to make hot chocolate for.

he had tried to eat the katsudon he had prepared for izuku, but the bitter taste had stayed in his mouth for days.

he wanted to text him, ask him when he would be back - because not knowing sometimes felt unbearable - but he didn't want to overstep. if izuku wanted him to know, he would have told him already.

but it still felt wrong when on saturday, bakugo didn't come to claim the kitchen

and cook together with izuku. it felt wrong on saturday when he was sitting all alone on their couch, watching their favourite hero shows without him.

he wanted to ask bakugo if he knew something, but the other student seemed to have disappeared as well.

the night before izuku's exam, he came back to a quiet dorm once again. but izuku wasn't the kind to go out the day before an important test, and maybe he was already in his room, studying.

he decided to prepare a cup of hot chocolate to give his roommate,

so he could have a reason to come to his room. maybe he could make some small talk, ask him what he was up to?

but when he knocked on the door, there were no answer. he tried one more time but no one responded. “i'm coming,” he said.

when the door opened, he was met with a room empty of izuku's belongings. the only thing left was a bouquet of spider lilies, lonelily standing on the desk. it was like his roommate had never been here.

as panic started to settle in, the mug he was holding already crashed on the floor, he hurriedly grabbed his phone and called izuku's number. “please...”, he begged, but he was sent straight to voicemail. he tried his luck with a message but it went undelivered.

his heart ached a bit as he slowly realized what it meant.

izuku was gone.

-
tbc
-
idk what to feel about this part it feels a bit rushed to me (and I struggled a lot with the tenses 😭) but here it is!
-