Thread by @W_Asherah

I've been asking my male friends to do something - *watch if the first response to everything a woman tells you is to refute, say no or something negative*

One texted me later: Holy f*ck

The problem is, constantly putting up with unwarranted resistance is bad for mental health.

The conversation started off from discussions with married women on dealing with men just resisting ideas with no basis. Including, and I'm not kidding, *buying the new black toothpaste*.
W: Let's test this
M: No
W: *Goes ahead and buys*
M: *Uses it* I actually like this

This gets horrid when it piles up. It makes daily conversations with men anxiety inducing for women because you have to *literally prepare a defence for everything*. In a good no of cases - women stop mentioning or asking anything. No one wants a fucking toothpaste discussion.

Some things you just do. You think, you do - not everything needs to be a debate. It's "let's get this" and the person goes "okay" and then you get the thing. Another was a story of someone's husband chiming in to say negative things whenever she's chatting with friends 😳

Oh, he is one of those allies who believed that he's very supportive of women in his life (I'm hoping he's stopped believing that). All while responding with resounding no to things that should not get a no. He didn't say what but he found himself in an argument with his sister.

... About something really petty that he should have just agreed with. She asked him "what exactly are you resisting?" - which is when he remembered what I'd told him. It's socialized resistance to women speaking - and every man I know does it either subconsciously or consciously

My Autistic brain has to *learn by observation* - I don't pick up social cues so teaching them to me as a child was likely futile to my oblivious brain. So I kinda *learn by observing patterns* - ever since I started my ADHD medication, I'm noticing weird social norms like these.

It's like *pathological demand avoidance* but make it something inflicting men when women speak. The problem tends to disappear when it's a man speaking. One person talked about a woman who calls the husband's best friend whenever she needs a huge decision to be made 😥😥😥

In case you missed it: This thread doesn't exist for debate reasons (I don't even get why this has to be said out loud because it's the literal premise of the thread) It's for women to put words to something they experience every day. Bring debate and you're blocked.

Because this is my most popular tweet and people keep coming back to it, I've decided to come back and change the "advert" I'm putting here. There's this amazing lady called Njeri who's doing a lot of work for women in Kenya. This is her:
google.com/amp/s/www.busi…

If you have anything to contribute, here's an MChanga link. I'll appreciate it immensely. Thank you in advance.