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I'm Jo. Policy adviser @lgacomms. ‘Twitter's answer to Phileas Fogg' - microblogging silly travel adventures - see pinned tweet. Views own. Politicanimal on 🦋

Nov 16, 2022, 60 tweets

And of course it’s about trams…

…in particular, the mountaineering trams up the castle hill. The only hairpin bend I’m aware of on an urban tram network.

The Tyn church looks it’s usual menacing self on a wet November afternoon.

Key sights of Prague at night: a selection… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

Further key sight of Prague at night: enough fried cheese to sink the Austro-Hungarian navy. Please provide plaudits for my healthy choice of a cabbage side salad.

Central Europe: where my waistline goes to die.

Goodbye to Prague for now. As wonderful as always. Riding in the back of your trams under the yellow sodium streetlights is nearly as good as the front of the DLR…

I’m at Prague’s original terminus station,
Masarykovo nádraží, now just an overflow for a few regional services, but it is very lovely, in a French market hall sort of style. Even quieter today than usual, as today is a bank holiday - Struggle for Freedom and Democracy Day.

I’m off to start the journey generally homewards on a meandering ramble through autumnal Bohemia. My sole big Czech railway gripe: if you must contract out bits of your subsidised regional network (to Arriva in this case), at least preserve network-wide through ticketing.

A minor Czech junction station in the fog can still pass for something out of Closely Observed Trains.

Through the mists, hills and forests of eastern Bohemia…

And of course the station master has held the connection at Rakovník for a few minutes. That’s my RegioMouse over there. Yes, that’s really what they call them.

No-one wants the request stop at Svihov u Jesenice…

Or at Kosobody. Which is perhaps unsurprising, as it appears to mainly serve trees.

A quiet morning on the RegioMouse.

That was a lovely run while it lasted. Alas, it’s a bank holiday, and as everywhere else, that means rail replacement buses. We’re being kicked off at the obscure country junction of Blatno.

But look - a rail replacement bus service (for a one day closure) with a fully functioning passenger information system. Rather than the usual British approach of a hand-scrawled piece of paper in the front window if you are lucky.

…and see that notice tied to the road sign? That’s the full timetable for the rail replacement service, which someone has bothered to come out and put up at the road junction where the bus is calling in lieu of an inaccessible minor request stop. #RailReplacementDoneProperly

Twisting through obscure misty villages, all grouped around their pond, chapel and zámek (manor house), then down off the 700m-high plateau to Bečov nad Teplou. twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

Opposite Bečov nad Teplou station, it’s possible the owners here have taken the ‘faded grandeur’ memo that has been passed round Bohemia for a while now just a little too seriously.

The trains recommence at Bečov, on a more modern single car train for the run along the Teplá valley. Been on 3 trains today and 3 different operators. I’m not exactly massively out of pocket that the 2 private operators don’t accept Interrail - a few quid each - but it is silly. twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

#viewsfromtrainwindows Trapezoid edition

Trundling very gently up the Teplá valley

Yay, I got to press the bell to stop the train! twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

I’m in rainy Mariánské Lázne, erstwhile Marianbad, once immensely popular with Europe’s ruling classes. I’ve started at the wrong end to buy a drinking cup, so am improvising. Sound on for my honest response to the water in Emperor Ferdinand’s well… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

No doubt Jeremy Hunt would argue he’s about to do something like that Ferdinand’s well water in the autumn statement. It will taste vile but do you good in the end. #Topical #EdgyComedy

Ah, the Forest Spring, and in a lovely bit of forest too. That sounds fresh and pleasant. Must be nicer than the other wells.

No. Possibly worse. twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

And each well in here is awful too.
Must be doing me a power of good.

Mariánské Lázne is hilariously out of season, in a way I rather like. It is a stunningly lovely down, set amidst the gothic dark brooding woods. But I get the feeling off-season is becoming a bit permanent for this spa town. Especially with no Russian oligarchs in town any more.

So while there’s still plenty of grandeur like this…

…there’s also quite a bit of this. Which just adds to the gothic atmosphere, to be honest. I think if you want to understand Goethe, visiting the watering holes he frequented does help a lot.

Adding another mode of transport to the journey: a trolleybus to the main station. At a permanent population of 12,000, there can’t be many towns smaller than Mariánské Lázne with a trolleybus system of their own. 🚎

Last little bit of Czech rail travel. How are České dráhy trains just generally such a pleasure to travel on?

Changed at Cheb and over border. The weather immediately improved in Bavaria.
Sitting just behind the driver’s cab, either DB have introduced a new warning system that says ‘Scheiße!’ each time a red signal is encountered, or the driver isn’t happy about all the signal checks.

No rail journey across Europe is complete without a wait for a delayed ICE…

This particular train - because it comes from Vienna - is called the ‘Donauwalzer’. Given waltzes require a meticulous attention to timing, that feels a poor name for a train that has managed to be on time on 10% of days in the last month…

Always a bit confused when the guards of German long distance trains randomly bring round a tray of chocolates or biscuits. Not complaining - it’s quite jolly, but is it supposed to be when the train hits a certain level of delay?

Goodnight from Koblenz, where it will be Christmas soon. A delayed arrival meant my main choice for dinner was partaking of the traditional Rhineland delicacy of poutine.

Taking my morning bretzel with the kaiser.

This is the Deutsches Eck (German Corner) where Rhine and Mosel meet in Koblenz, ‘graced’ with a sodding huge statue of Kaiser Wilhelm I. The statue was destroyed in WW2, then rebuilt - in a somewhat controversial move - at reunification. A duck is sitting on his hat, quacking. twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

This is, as it happens, the second Deutsches Eck on my journey. Not to be confused with the shortcut through Bavaria taken by Austrian trains from Innsbruck to Salzburg.

Or the Yorkshire Eck, which I’m going to attempt to popularise as a name for the confluence of Aire and Ouse.

Heading up the right bank of the Rhine twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

To arrive at Sankt Goarshausen

Ah, a rural bus all to myself. How British.

Leafpeeping in der Bus 535

Took quite a lot of photos in the past half hour. Also, got odd looks from elderly German daytrippers for whistling the Siegfried leitmotif too much.

I call this video ‘Europa unterweg’

Mrs Turtle is expressing interest in any vacancies to become a Rhinemaiden.

Same, Frau Loreley. Same.

Sudden ray of sunlight picking out Burg Katz (‘Cat Castle’). Official name is Burg Neukatzenelnbogen (‘Castle of New Cat’s Elbow’), but it unaccountably gets contracted.

One more mode to add to the journey: ferry, cross the Rhine. It’s a short crossing on the Loreley car ferry, but the fact it seems to do it largely doing sideways suggests it’s not easy crossing that current. ⛴

Letting some barges struggling their way upstream past before we depart.

Well, it takes 3 minutes, but you get your €2.20 worth on the crossing from St Goarhausen to St Goar (think I got that the right way round).

Really lovely villages on either side, which remarkably, have managed to remain lived-in (probably because they are commutable to Frankfurt) despite their honeypot status.

Even had time on the ferry crossing to do the photoshoot for my tilt at Bundeskanzler.

It’s a little country halt, while also being on one of Europe’s main commercial highways. The Rhine valley paradox…

Back north up the left bank, for variety.

As the hills drop, the vineyards appear, looking excellent in their autumn plumage.

Good view of the Prussian Fort Constantin from the platforms of Koblenz Hbf.

#TrainWindowViews Rhineland edition

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