Thread by @mattschnuck

How to avoid a life of regret.

The Paradox Map.

What it is and why everyone needs to know it:

People work hard to achieve.

Some hope there will be no stress on the other side of achievement. I did.

But stress is not a one-time problem to solve.

That is an illusion.

A problem to be solved is something that can be done ONCE.

Think of it like catching a ball.

It might be a difficult catch, but once the ball is caught, the problem is solved.

A paradox to be managed is an ongoing challenge between two seemingly opposing concepts.

Paradox can’t be solved once and be over with.

Think of it like a juggler.

The motions required to work with paradox need to be ongoing.

So how do you manage a paradox?

A good way to think about it is with a tool called a Paradox Map.

A Paradox Map details the positives AND negatives of each opposing idea.

Take the Paradox of Stress AND Tranquility:

Stress actually has POSITIVE aspects at times.

Tranquility has NEGATIVE qualities at times.

An effectively managed paradox moves from the negative quadrant of one side to the positive of the other.

But in a paradox, you don’t get to stay in the positive place forever.

That’s not how paradoxes work.

Eventually, that tranquility turns into boredom.

But then what?

Masters of paradox move to the opposite pole’s positive corner.

Boredom is proactively replaced with challenge (good stress).

Then as the challenge builds, more stress transitions into distress...

Until rest and rejuvenation begin the cycle again.

For example, many fail in designing retirement because they are under the “stress as problem-to-solve” illusion.

They exhaust themselves during their career & destroy their health.

Then, they design a retirement that aims to only exist in the positive aspects of Tranquility.

But after an initial period of relaxation, they inevitably feel the bad parts of Tranquility.

Without the paradox lens, they don’t know they need to move on the map (to the positive side of stress).

They are in the negativity of Tranquility.

This is the Tranquility Trap.

To avoid this trap, practice managing this paradox DURING your career.

Sustained energy is sourced by managing the stress-to-tranquility paradox with ongoing rituals.

Well-designed practices move you through the Paradox Map in a shape that looks like an infinity symbol.

Try these reflection questions for the Stress AND Tranquility Paradox:

What helps you identify when you are experiencing the negative aspects of:
-stress
-tranquility

When you are in the negative corners of the Paradox Map, what helps you:
-restore
-bring you needed challenge

A great retirement will include relaxation AND thoughtful challenge.

The best work of your career will involve intense work AND cycles of needed rest.

Working with paradox is not easy.

But it can be more approachable with clear awareness and a good map.

To recap:

1. Determine if the challenge you face is like catching a ball once (Problem) or requires ongoing juggling (Paradox)

2. If juggling is required, draw a Paradox Map

3. Identify the processes you will need to move you through the map to effectively work with paradox

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