Thread by @exhaustedpillow

#アルカヴェ #haikaveh 

🌱🏛 | angst(?)

"So this is how it feels to be abandoned." 

Kaveh idly thinks as he falls to his back on the bed. The lamp has been set to dim mode and he stares at the cream-colored ceiling wordlessly for a while, before shifting his gaze back to the

empty space beside him.
He's not sure just how many nights has it been, since he last saw Alhaitham. Ever since they had that huge fight, Alhaitham has refused to come home and chose to stay at his office or nearby hotel. He didn’t even return to retrieve his personal stuff and

instructed his assistant to buy him some clothes and other necessities.
How did he know?
Because Panah, said assistant in question, obliviously called and asked him about Alhaitham’s size.
𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘈𝘭𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘮’𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯

𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦’𝘥 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦?
The thought brings another painful throb on his chest, as he lies listlessly on their bed. Alhaitham’s action is just as hurtful as it is

insulting. After three years of living together, Kaveh has thought that Alhaitham is his home. A place, a person, who he can return and lean on.
Kaveh thought he had found 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦.
Alas this situation quickly becomes a sobering realization.
Despite the fact that he’s a

romantic person, in the whole three years they’ve been together, there’s never been an explicit confession from Alhaitham. They just know that they like each other and maybe it's maturity or maybe he’s just following Alhaitham’s flow but they’d never really sit down and confess

to each other. He and the people around them just know that he’s Alhaitham’s and vice versa and they’re mutually exclusive for each other. They kiss and sleep together. Alhaitham cooked him breakfast, took him to the formal parties and business gatherings, introduced him as his

lover while he took Alhaitham to his exhibitions and his building’s ceremonies, (secretly) crediting him as his muse and indulging the younger man on the occasions he’s physically clingy.
It’s just… natural.
And maybe just like how they naturally became together, they'll also

drift apart in the same way.
Kaveh takes a deep sigh and turns his body to lay on his side. The glinting silver ring on his middle finger takes his attention away.
It’s a cute couple ring he bought during his short visit to Liyue a few months ago. It was just a random whim of his

when he purchased them, even though it still garnered raised eyebrows and questioning stares from their friends when they wore it in public for the first time.
It’s not an engagement ring nor is it a wedding ring, so these rings are not 𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨. Alhaitham also has never

shown any interest or desire to take their relationship to a more serious level and occasionally, he knows that the gray-haired male takes it off when he has formal meetings with other nations’ delegations.
𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦. It’s not like they’re engagement rings.
Be as

it may, the thought still sours up his mood. His mulls about their relationship makes him realize just how fragile and nonexistent it is. If their relationship has never been really established in the first place and these rings aren’t binding them, then what’s he doing here?

If Alhaitham can easily ignore and abandon him like this, what’s stopping him from doing the same? Why must he feel like he has to stay in this place?
Kaveh sits on the bed, his head turning left and right. The empty room feels even more unbearable and now that he thinks about it

this house originally belongs to Alhaitham.
That’s not right.
By logic, it is ridiculous that the rightful owner is chased out of his own house.
If his presence is a burden, the one that hinders Alhaitham from coming home, then he shall leave. He has his pride and ego and it’s

not like he’s penniless anymore. He can find a good place to settle down and maybe, he should start looking for a place to slowly build his dream house.
Maybe the distance will give him time to truly reassess everything.

.

But he won’t be waiting for Alhaitham anymore.

.

Kaveh thoroughly enjoys love stories where one pines after another. He loves that whole loving in silent trope, he adores the chasing after their loved ones tales. However, he knows they’re simply stories and he’s not as patient nor as willing to let

himself be that pitiful in reality.

He knows his worth.

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘴𝘰?