Thread by @mxpoliakov

Do you know what "food" Russian soldiers eat on the frontline? Trust me, it is rather horrifying. I sacrificed myself to entertain you, and I even tasted it 💩

Russian MRE unboxing 🧵

Do you know where this MRE is made?

Well, you might think I am joking, but it is made in the city, which literally translates to Mud (Грязи). You can try Google Lens. It is the fine print.

This particular specimen was gifted to me by @dim0kq. It was found during the Kharkiv offensive.

Here are our Michelin-approved dishes out of the box 😋
There is already some moldy smell (I did not even open the packages yet)

Let's start with our main dishes. The first is supposed to be the "Beef with beans and vegetables." At least the timestamp tells that it is pretty fresh.

The smell inside is unbearable. Something died inside hundred times. It honestly tastes like 🤮

I don't think you want to see it, beware!

The second main dish is rice with beef. The smell is as disgusting as the previous entry. I don't want to describe the taste because it makes me feel 🤢

This is a pile of some weird goo. I guess that are some rats they found around the factory.

And the final main dish is beef meatballs. I hope at least this one might be eatable.

Nope, I was wrong. Where are the meatballs, exactly? And why does it smell and tastes like fish? I guess they messed up the production lines or something

Well, that wasn't good. But what about some snacks?

How about something called "Фарш колбасный" and "Кабачковая икра"? It is hard to translate, but the first one is minced sausage (really). The second one is marrow paste.

Minced sausage tastes something like German Leberwurst, but the taste is stale.

I did not try the marrow paste since it looks like cockroaches legs in there 🫠

The next on our plate is the liver pate and some processed cheese. The pate tastes a bit weird, but it is definitely an improvement from other things on the menu. The cheese is like plastic and tastes like nothing. Currently, the best thing here!

Now there is some bacon. That must be good, right? No, that is just some 99% processed fat. Disgusting 🤢

Some crackers. For some reason, they are also a bit moldy, although they are packed. One of them is whole wheat, lol.

Now, some hot drinks and desserts. Excited?

I heard chocolate is the best thing here. In fact, it tastes worst than the cheapest chocolate from discount supermarkets in Ukraine.

Apple sauce is fine. I am shocked.

Coffee and cream. The coffee is cheap instant coffee which is bitter and has no flavor. The cream is not a cream but starch. It is written on the package.

I don't think coffee should look this way. Only 2 grams, by the way. So no espresso today.

Some cheap black tea. Bitter, but I can drink it. It says it is from India, but my guess is they somehow grow it domestically. Yes, there was tea production in the soviet union.

Weird sugar drinks. Supposed to be fruit flavored, but it smells like old dirty socks.

60 grams of sugar to increase the calorie count.

Some pill. I think it is potassium cyanide. Just for committing suicide in case you get captured by nazis or NATO mercenaries.

Twitter could not handle this thread. The end.

P.S. I could not find dried vodka in the MRE to drink something alongside my tears 😢

Oh, I forgot the chewing gum. It tastes totally not like a normal chewing gum, and it contains real sugar.

Also, there are some mic things like napkins, plastic cutlery, a bunch of water purifiers (chlorine), and fuel tablets.

I am waiting for this fella to join me in the hospital 😎

Ukrainian soldiers defend our country and deserve only the best! Follow @frontlinekit for more Ukrainian home-made food awesomeness 🧑‍🍳