Thread by @HowitzerApprec1

As the HMS Bonky weighs anchor and sets sail towards Sevastopol, something is occurring in an undisclosed safe house...#NAFOfleet #NAFOdrone #RaccoonsRevenge

@U24_gov_ua @Official_NAFO

Fellas, are you ready to test yourself? The Major is putting together a paw-picked squad for a mission we can't disclose. #OPSEC

Fellas, are you ready to train for action?

Recruitment is by financial donation. Tickets from 15700 and above please and your fella on a white background.

buy your ticket here u24.gov.ua/news/nafo

Our first intrepid volunteers gather in a railway waiting room. @Owl_Pie2 has wisely bagged a seat near the stove. @ajpfieldsend has come prepared for the foraging lessons - bonus points! @seggl looks self-sufficient for water - excellent. @martianritch provides some axe muzak

It's a long way to the [REDACTED] training centre. Our second wave of bold volunteers comandeered a bus. (@Mike_Ryker brought his own deer.) No fighting over the front seat please.@NellSwift @proxima33243181 @Sandy_fella @rej0604. @MRIvan35735658 promises his warthog can keep up.

It looks like @s0ap0peraqueen and @Ciarzo2 got the wrong end of the stick about the bus - they say this is a bus too, a Shetland Bus. Not sure that quiff is going to survive long when we get to [REDACTED], fella...

Speaking softly and carrying a big (bonk) stick, @dipapip catches a ride on the Shetland Bus.

Major Raccoon takes training seriously and has recruited a real expert to get everyone's skills up to scratch when it comes to [REDACTED] hunting. What is rustling in the bushes, my guys? What the fuck could it be?

Armed and ready to repel boarders, @dfernandes squeezes onto the Shetland Bus. Move along the rail, please.

The train has finally arrived - looks like @Ohforfuckssake2 has bagged a double seat.

Completing the squad heading from Scalloway to the [REDACTED] training centre, it's @WhatADdoing - welcome, fella!

Marv does appreciate a howitzer - @i_kLeffmann has taken on tailgunner duties. The bus will be crossing Hadrian's Wall soon so probably wise.

Training starts prompt at 09.00 tomorrow - what does the O stand for? Oh my god it's early! - so we can't afford any train breakdowns on the way. Thankfully @JargonLurking has brought his toolkit. Nothing WD40 or duck tape can't sort...

Is that a valiant raccoon accompanying @malleegirl57 to volunteer? And it looks like someone from the HMS Bonky has dropped off a barrel of DoppelBonk to keep the squad in good cheer until the train reaches them.

It must have been the doppelbonk that lured him in! @MakinItWayne87 has joined the crew in the waiting room.

The recruitment office will temporarily close while Marv goes off to see if he can find some more beer and some vodka for the reindeer (how do you think he gets that red nose!) Any new tickets will be checked in the morning. Bring your PE kit. You'll need it at [REDACTED].

good morning fellas! 27 raw recruits arrive by steam train at a small railway station in the Scottish Highlands. As is traditional, they have been met by a piper. They will now march 7 miles to [REDACTED] where training will start. Will they all make it? #NAFOfleet #NAFOdrone

Group A - @seggl, @proxima33243181, @Ciarzo2, @i_kLeffmann and @ronschuring - are getting weapons training from an absolute legend. @ronschuring, we might have to have words about camouflage.

Group B - @ajpfieldsend, @Sandy_fella, @dipapip, @JargonLurking and @naams are tackling the fearsome assault course. But I think @naams is cheating. #NAFOfleet #NAFOdrone #raccoonsrevenge

Simo Häyhä has come back from the Beyond to give Group C - @martianritch, @rej0604, @dfernandes, @malleegirl57 and @CloudRaichan - some tips on winter warfare. @martianritch misunderstood the order to bring an ice axe. #NAFOfleet #NAFOdrone

@martianritch @rej0604 @dfernandes @malleegirl57 @CloudRaichan It's the fast route march for Group D - @Mike_Ryker, @MRIvan35735658, @Ohforfuckssake2, @MakinItWayne87 and @blynn61. And is that Secretary of State for Defence Ben Wallace and the Major come to see how the volunteers are doing?

Group E - @NellSwift @s0ap0peraqueen @WhatADdoing @dennerdenner @Phoenixfire709 - are training for an amphibious assault. Or maybe heading for the beach party, it's not quite clear. @CloudyWithBees has brought the Article 5 into the fjord to make sure everyone stays safe.

Marv has been given a proper bollocking by Major Raccoon for oversleeping and holding up the paperwork for @weijander and @JoaoPacheco91. He's very sorry and he's getting them to [REDACTED] as quick as he can. #raccoonsrevenge #NAFOfleet #NAFOdrone

Just missed the Corran Ferry, sorry #fellas.

Right, you horrible lot! Major Raccoon and the President himself have come to review your progress. The Major is a bit cross that someone called him a trash panda and there may be consequences. The rest of you can take some R&R this afternoon. #NAFOfleet #raccoonsrevenge

some of the fellas have gone on a night camp with @IrynaVoichuk. They are ready to listen to whatever she wants to tell them, so that they can be firm and resolute when the mission starts. #fellaship #standwithukraineuntilvictory

These #Fellas heard that @ajpfieldsend fancied a spot of night fishing so they've gone with him to get more practice on the water. Not that @RusalkaNYC needs any - she's just keeping watch on them. #NAFOfleet #NAFOfleetSpecialForces #RaccoonsRevenge

A cry went up that a new star has been spotted in the sky. Our felladeer riders - @LoisAceLane and @Mike_Ryker have gone up for a look and magically brought @MRIvan35735658's warthog with them.

Our two new volunteers for #NAFOfleet Special Forces [REDACTED] operation, @Janet45590575 and @HKMK23todd, have hitched a ride on a helpful lorry. We'll meet them properly in the morning.

Good morning #NAFOfleet Special Forces fellas! The Major hopes you got up to no malarkey overnight - or at least didn't get caught if you did. Our new recruits - @weijander, @EJPointer, @JoaoPacheco91, @emgaugs and @HKMK23todd - are already on the training ground.

Keen to demonstrate her prototype #RaccoonsRevenge with onboard fellalasers, @Janet45590575 meets @RusalkaNYC, @Erdbeerdampfe and @wittenbeker on the beach. Don't get singed, #fellas!

#NAFOfleet SOF volunteers! Maj. Raccoon has issued today's orders. This is the final challenge. Not all of you will pass! Using the skills you have been taught at [REDACTED], evade capture and regroup at NN 20790 82370. This channel will go dark until 17:00 GMT #OPSEC
Good luck!

#NAFOfleet update! @seggl,@proxima33243181, @Ciarzo2, @i_kLeffmann and @ronschuring stormed the challenge and were the first team to arrive at the co-ordinates. They're chilling back at barracks but will be back to welcome the rest of the #fellas.

Someone got their lat and long mixed up a bit and ended up at Piccadilly Circus. Don't worry, @dipapip, @ajpfieldsend, @JargonLurking and @naams - looks like @Sandy_fella is on the hunt for a cab.

These guys didn't want to say why they were late but we found some photos on a camera roll - looks like @martianritch, @dfernandes, @malleegirl57, @CloudRaichan and @rej0604 accepted a lift from someone they shouldn't have! Can someone bring a Spoon to the RV point please.

"Now what?"
"We go for a walk"
Unfortunately @MRIvan35735658, @Ohforfuckssake2, @MakinItWayne87, and @blynn61 didn't realise the trains are on strike in the UK at the moment. @Mike_Ryker and his reindeer are getting them to the rendezvous.

Maj Raccoon forgives the recruits for stopping at this battle to see if anyone needed a bonking. But really, @NellSwift, @s0ap0peraqueen, @dennerdenner, @WhatADdoing, and @Phoenixfire709 - a chap with a French accent claiming he's an immortal Scot? Is nonsense being pronounced?!

Holy shit, #fellas - when the Major said you could take public transport this isn't quite what he had in mind. @JoaoPacheco91, @weijander, @EJPointer, @emgaugs and @HKMK23todd - looks like you've got everything under control though? #NAFOfleet

Now what were you told about malarkey? First of all, Shetland is not on the way from [REDACTED] to the RV point, and it looks like @RusalkaNYC, @LoisAceLane, @Erdbeerdampfe and @Janet45590575 are having to rescue @wittenbeker from that nice Mr Perez's house. #NAFOfleet

In recognition of outstanding effort, Major Raccoon has asked the President to award every one of the #NAFOfleet Special Forces #fellas a #NAFO blue beret. There will be an announcement in the morning about which 12 fellas will go forward to the [REDACTED] mission. #NAFOdrone

Fellas, @tootswoot1 has brought the NAAFI wagon and is serving out hot vatnik tears. Please don't bring your bonk sticks to the counter, she is going as fast as she can. #NAFOdrone #RaccoonsRevenge

FIINAL MISSION UPDATES from [REDACTED]
Many are called but few are chosen. The 12 fellas who did best in certain very specialised training that we weren't able to show are being briefed by the Major.

Operation Unthinkable will be undertaken by @ajpfieldsend @Ciarzo2 @dennerdenner @dfernandes @dipapip @emgaugs @MakinItWayne87 @MRIvan35735658 @proxima33243181 @seggl @weijander @WhatADdoing

Every #fella has a role to play. The President has asked a team from the Blue Berets to join him for lunch and meet Maddox, who will speak about the need for prosthetics to get defenders back on their feet.

Team Ze/Maddox lunch: @Sandy_fella @blynn61 @Ohforfuckssake2 @malleegirl57 @ronschuring @Phoenixfire709 @wittenbeker @naams @CloudRaichan @JoaoPacheco91 @Erdbeerdampfe @HKMK23todd

The final team have been tasked with helping @Janet45590575 with the sea drone trials in an undisclosed and closely guarded location. @iljaandreev is taking the official photos and @CloudyWithBees with @blandliketheman on cannon are blockading the fjord.

On the water or in the air: @Mike_Ryker @LoisAceLane @NellSwift @martianritch @i_kLeffmann @RusalkaNYC @s0ap0peraqueen @JargonLurking @rej0604 @Janet45590575 @EJPointer

#OPSEC now descends. Follow #NAFOfleet for news.