Phil Cunningham Profile picture
金培力 CCTV FOLLIES at https://t.co/Ytx660bYM5 Fulbright, Knight, Nieman Fellow. @jinpeili.bsky.social @jinpeili@ieji.de

Jan 26, 2023, 35 tweets

CCTV FOLLIES 1.26 Seeing Red in Red China

-Entire nation is happy; "Red, red, sweet, sweet"
-Important news about the moon
-Latin America gets Belted and Roaded
-Russia prevailing in Bakhmut battle
-World joins Russia in condemning Germany and US

In a bold cold open without the usual praise of Xi, CCTV turns its attention to the moon.

Photos and simulations of the Jade Rabbit rover hopping around the far side of the moon bring to China especially good tidings in the year of the rabbit but why no news of Xi?
Palace coup?

Oh, never mind.
Phew! CCTV had me worried for a minute.
But everything's back to normal with this expansive spread on the most potent rocket fuel of all:
Xi Jinping thought...

You see, the moon, is like, his accomplishment. He mentioned the moon over 300 times in 2019, so in a way, he owns it.

And who are the moon scientists to disagree?

Xi's avuncular and humble about his contribution, he wants to share some of the credit with the scientists.

They cheer him and he congratulates them as Li Keqiang looks on.

But his contributions go way beyond the political.
He's hands-on in the lab, and he gives helpful tips for spacecraft design.

"As Chairman Xi has pointed out...."

"It all started with that dream of his..."

At first glance, it looks like China planted its flag on the moon, but it turns out it's Inner Mongolia where the Chang'e probe landed.

(Powered by Xi Jinping thought)

But enough of Xi. Let's see what people are talking about in far away South America...

"I would like to thank Chairman Xi for bestowing some video comments upon our summit."
-Argentina President Fernandez

"Chairman Xi delivered comments to the summit that have provoked deep appreciation..."
-Former Chile ambassador to China

"Chairman Xi expressed his support for Latin America."
-Dominican Academy of Science

"Chairman Xi's comments show the leadership power of China"
-El Salvador, former member of congress

"Chairman Xi's words are super important..."
-Venezuela National Assembly

Argentina wants to be on Xi's "Belt and Road"

In other news, China is stricken with a bout of lingering happiness as the spring festival slowly fades...

"Red, red, sweet, sweet" says a happy reveler from Xinjiang..."New Year's is like tanghulu candied fruit!"

China-Russia cooperation bears fruit.
Anna Karenina staged in Shenzhen...

National minorities dress up and dance with joy and pose happily as Han tourists take snapshots...

The festive joy is felt everywhere in China.
Smiling Xinjiang woman says Spring Festival is
"red, red, sweet, sweet!"
(like tanghulu candied berries)
"I want to plant more corn," says farmer in Leifeng hat.

India feels the warmth of Happy Rabbit Year at the "Issuing ceremony of Spring Festival Bags"

Russian jet pilot struts his stuff, firing rockets in the skies over Ukraine.

Russia's big guns blast away on the ground

Scenes near Bakhmut, courtesy of the Russian Ministry of Defense.
(detailed map supplied by CCTV)

Ukraine fights back.

Putin spokesman Dmitry Peskov complains that Ukraine is getting help, not just from the usual suspects such as UK and US...
but Germany.

It's so unfair!

German embassy in Moscow under pressure for its decision to supply Leopard tanks to Ukraine.

Germany's move is a bad move that brings widespread condemnation from international personages.
President Obrador of Mexico says so!
So does American human rights blogger Dan Kovalik:
"It's nuts!"

(Nice to see China quoting human rights activists)

CCTV coolly shows shots of heavy Russian artillery blasting away every day without comment, but gets all frothed up if the weapons come from somewhere besides Russia.

Iran, angry at Western sanctions, hits back at UK and EU with sanctions of its own for their "support of terrorism"

Well, that's enough of the world for one day.

Let's close the program with some beautiful images of our sparkling cities to the tune of "I love you, China!"

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